Booze Review: Bombay Sapphire London Dry Gin

author-pic at University of Arizona  

The great thing about gin is that is has to have a minimum alcoholic content to actually be labeled as gin, so you can be rest assured that you’re not drinking that weak lean, son. The blue bottle gives Bombay Sapphire a classy look, as if drinking gin doesn’t already make you the classiest bloke in the bar. This drink is triple distilled from a variety of plants, including almonds and lemon peels, so we’re chalking this one up as a vitamin supplement.

 

Grade: A-

Smells Like:

The tears of all of the nations imperialized under the British Empire.

Tastes Like:

Something an alcoholic forest critter would drink.

Typical Drinkers:

– James Bond

– The Queen of England

– People who take full advantage of their AARP cards.

– Snoop Dogg, Wiz Khalifa, and plenty of dope-ass rappers.

User Comments:

– “Oi ya bloody bloke, get me anotha drink or I swear on me mum I’ll hook ya right in the gabber.”

– “Shaken, not stirred.”

– “Whoa, have you seen the ingredients in this drink? This sure beats the Jenny Craig diet I’m on!”

– “It’s a vapor-infused gin…No, I don’t know what that means but it sounds lit.”

Best Described as a Drink Superior To:

Gin that comes in a clear bottle, or any other gin really.

What Snoop Dogg Would Say if You Told Him You Drank This:

“Ayy there ya go neffew! I mess with D-O-double-gin. Now just po’ that up with some juice, lay back, and take a lil’ puff-puff on this blunt, son.”

What’s A Juniper Berry, And Why Is It In This?:

We dunno, but we’re pretty sure it’s that thing that makes it smell like pine needles.

What, Fancy Now, Eh?:

No, did you read the intro? We just want to be very, very drunk.

We Mixed it With: 

Juice. We’re not trying to disappoint Snoop.