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Spring Breakers Band Together to Create Huge 30 Person Boob Luge

Spring breakers all over the country are meeting up in Panama City Beach to form a giant 30-person boob luge. Since the start of universities, boob luges have been a staple of the spring break experience.


Normally, boob luges follow a one-male-to-one-female ratio, but this year spring breakers are stepping the boob luge game up a notch. When asked his opinion on the giant boob luge, ASU Sophomore Brock Daniels commented “Boobs is boobs. More boobs is better.”


As far as the mechanics of the mega-luge, fifth-year senior LSU and physics major Connor Taylor will serve as the brains for the operation. Connor, the most qualified of the students for the job, claims that the luge will be made possible through what he calls “the gravity effect,” which he claims is a principle he discovered.



Although Connor serves as the brain behind this project, he claims that “a boob luge is no good without trustworthy D-cupped women. The beer just falls all over the ground otherwise.”


 One of the girls behind the 30-person luge, Stella Burke, thinks that “Being a part of this is an honor. For years, I’ve wondered how I could make my daddy proud—and now I’ve finally found a way.”


The spring breakers plan to attempt this great feat on the final day of spring break, March 10th, —as a tribute to the fallen men and women of past luges. In addition to creating the luge, the students also plan to live stream the construction and action of the luge on Old Row’s Twitter account for the entire course of the event.


“Catch us throwin’ back Nattys and motor-boating some tits,” UMD Junior Alex Jones told reporters. Students advise anyone wanting to watch the luge in process to tune into Old Row’s livestream on March 10th, 2017. 


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