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The Ultimate Ranking of University of Arizona Dorms

Dorm life. A simpler time when our bellies were full of dining hall foods, and your biggest worry was the pile of socks and garbage your roommate kept under their bed. (C’mon Kyle, do your fuckin’ laundry.) For those of you just coming to campus or for those of you looking to live on again, we’ve got a break down of University of Arizona dorms and a high quality ranking for your convenience:

8.) Babcock:
Yeah, there’s a pool, and yeah you might have your own bathroom, but sandwiched in between those two luxuries is asbestos. Also, the aesthetic of this place just reeks of a 1980s motel that has jizz stains on every mattress. You can live here, but just like, promise us you won’t live here on purpose okay?

7.) KA-HU:
In addition to the swanky wooden floors and patio full of grills, KA-HU offers a real sense of community. By community we mean that everyone who lives here has agreed not to acknowledge the weird smell that lingers through all four floors. If you like sharing a kitchen with the same people you share a shower with, then you’ll fit in nicely. Guess that’s kinda what you should expect living anywhere in Highland.

Hey! We’re looking for a Marketing Captain for some easy marketing events on campus. You’d do 1-2 events per week, each one takes a couple hours and you get paid $100 per event. If you can’t do it but have a friend who CAN, you’ll get $100 just for referring them! Click above to apply! 

 

6.) ManziMo/Hopi:
These dorms might be on the cheaper side, and they might be small but dammit if you want to smoke a fat doob and get away with it, then fuck it. You’ll get just about as close to your roommates as the length at which you’re forced to keep your shower caddy from the microwave.

5.) PSP/La Cienega/VDP:
These dorms are newer, and quite nice on the inside but the price you pay for class and comfy common room couches is being squished butt to butt with your roommate all year long. Look on the bright side though, if you’re looking to rub elbows with the athletes then Linkins isn’t too far away.

4.) AzSo/Coronado:
We’re just gonna lump these two together as the dorms you should plan on living in if you want to consume alcohol and only alcohol for at least the next year of your life. Yeah, you’ll be able to find a study hall or the library when you need to, but plan on having to wade through a pool of Burnett’s bottles in order to get there.

3.) Linkins:
If you’re living here, you’re either very tall and good at handling balls (an athlete), or you simply enjoy the finer things in life. Like, this dorm has a freakin’ courtyard, and when we hear courtyard we think royalty.

2.) Rawls/Eller Lodge: 
This place is for the elite of UA’s campus. For a pretty penny you only have to cohabitate with 63 other sweaty youths instead of the standard 375. Unlike most of the other dorms on campus, each of these rooms comes with a private place to poop. what. a. luxury. And if the proximity to Greek Row wasn’t enough for you, then consider to closeness to the freakin’ Taco Bell and think again. 

1.) Pima:
Pima may be small, but she is mighty. Its reputation is not quite as based in booze as AzSo or Coronado, but if you like to sleep just as much as you like to drink then this is probably your best bet. Plus, suite style bathrooms are a whole lot nicer than sharing a bathroom with Brian and 13 other dudes who think it’s funny to poop in the showers.

Living in the dorms is truly a close and sticky experience that we will cherish until we wise up and decide to live off campus. Hopi, we will always think fondly of you, but boy are we glad to never have to live there again.

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