A Young Child’s Return Home After Lil’ Sibs Weekend

 
 

7th grader Jimmy Cox has just returned home after spending the weekend in East Lansing to visit his older brother, Brad, for MSU’s annual Lil’ Sibs Weekend.

 

::Jimmy enters the door looking extremely disheveled, wearing the same outfit he was wearing when he left two days ago.::

 

Mrs. Cox: Hi sweetie! What happ—

Mr. Cox: What the hell happened to you, kid? Is that vomit on your shirt? Where’s all your stuff?

 

::Jimmy grins from ear to ear.::

 

Jimmy: You guys are never going to believe what happened! When I first got to Brad’s house, Brad and all of his roommates were getting ready to have a big birthday party….

 

::Mr. and Mrs. Cox exchange a worried glance.::

 

Jimmy: Brad said there would be lots of guys AND girls coming over to celebrate and that all of us were going to have a big sleepover. He said it was going to be the biggest sleepover I’d ever been to and it was! 

 

::Mrs. Cox starts losing color in her face.:: 

::Mr. Cox leans over to his wife.::

 

Mr. Cox: (in a whisper) Brad is fucking dead. 

 

::Mrs. Cox takes a deep breath.::

 

Mrs. Cox: (whispers back) Ok, ok… don’t let Jimmy see you’re upset yet; we need to find out what happened. Maybe it’s not as bad as we think… 

 

Jimmy: Anyway, once Brad’s friends came over, we started playing all kinds of games I’d never played before where people had to tell secrets about themselves and sometimes they even had to take off their clothes…

 

::Mr. Cox raises an eyebrow.::

 

Jimmy: And instead of having a big cake for their friend, they made a special birthday juice that they put in a bunch of giant buckets. They made other people pay to drink the special juice, but everyone was just so nice to me that they said I could have as much as I could handle.

 

::Mrs. Cox clutches her chest as her jaw slowly but surely drops further and further.::

 

Jimmy: I thought it tasted good at first, but then it started making me feel kinda funny so I sat down for a while after I drank it. One of Brad’s nice friends saw me sitting alone and asked if I was ok. She was really pretty so I told her I still had a funny feeling, but now it was in a good way that made my skin warm and made me want to hug everyone. 

 

::Jimmy has a flashback to the party.::

 

•••

 

Brad’s really pretty friend: Heyyyy, you’re Brad’s little brother, right? 

 

::Jimmy nods::

 

BRPF: What’s your name?

Jimmy: Jimmy. 

BRPF: Aww. You’re pretty cute, Jimmy. I used to have a boyfriend named Jimmy…

 

::Jimmy crosses his legs and smiles awkwardly::

 

BRPF: Is everything okay? 

Jimmy: Well, um, my skin feels warm and I feel kind of tingly and funny now that you’re here and um, you’re really pretty. 

BRPF: Awwww! You are too cute!

 

::Brad’s really pretty friend puts her hand on Jimmy’s knee.::

 

BRPF: That’s just the jungle juice, sweetie. It’s has a…”magic” ingredient that makes you feel like that. You’ll be fine, just don’t have too much!

 

::Brad’s really pretty friend hugs Jimmy and kisses him on the cheek before she walks away.::

 

BRPF: Have fun!

 

::Jimmy hides his erection.::

 

•••

 

Mrs. Cox: Then what happened, honey? 

Jimmy: Oh, um, after that I got really sleepy, so I went upstairs to Brad’s room to find my pajamas…

 

::Mr. and Mrs. Cox let out a sigh of relief.::

 

Jimmy: But once I got up there, my bag was empty! I guess one of Brad’s friends got sick and threw up on himself, so he put on my extra clothes thinking they were Brad’s. I think some people were allergic to the special drink because lots of Brad’s friends got sick. 

 

Mr. Cox: I thought you had two other outfits plus pajamas though…

Jimmy: I did! He said he wanted to put everything on “to be safe.” He promised to give them back next time I came and visited though! Can I go back next weekend?

Mrs. Cox: We’ll see, honey. Why don’t you go upstairs and get cleaned up? We want to give your brother a call…

 

 
 
 
 

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WORD  -  of  -  THE WEEK

WORD

Whoronation

Definition

The first time a woman is called a derogatory name by a male because she would not put out.

Sentence

“Lindsey received her whoronation when Seth called her a skank for not giving him head in the bar bathroom.”