Booze Review: 1800 Coconut Tequila


Grade: B


Overview: With Cinco de Mayo days away, we decided it was best to check out the freshest tequila on the shelves. Upon arriving at our favorite liquor store, the man behind the counter asked—nay, demanded—we review 1800 Coconut tequila. Coconut?! What were these 1800 old timers up to? We had to find out. 


History: After having been in business since January 1st, 1800, the tequila company, 1800, was really running short on new ideas for tequila. It seemed like every brilliant venture had already been explored. Without something new to give to the public they were sure to slip through the cracks and be forgotten like every other old thing in the world (sorry about that birthday, grandma!). Then one day, like a coconut falling out of a tree and killing someone (happens three times each year), 1800 was struck with a brilliant idea. They would make a smooth coconut tequila! 1800 rejoiced and lived to see another year.


Typical Drinkers: Men ironically wearing over sized Hawaiian shirts, fat men who have no choice but to wear over sized Hawaiian shirts, fire dancers, burn victims, fans of the coconut bra, confused Irishmen, women without daddy issues but still enjoy letting loose, and of course the coconut people. 


Drinker Comments:

“There’s still a bite, but it’s more like a nibble from a puppy.”

“So smooth, it’s inspiring me to get a bikini wax!”

“Coconut bras are very uncomfortable.”

“Not if you find the right size coconut for your breasts.” 

“Yeah, well who has time for that?”


Conclusion: As far as tequilas go, this is one of the smoothest we’ve ever had the pleasure of drinking for under thirty-five bucks. If you have some extra money to spend, but not enough for the top shelf crap, definitely go for this little baby. 


The Mixer Center:

Pinapple Juice: A-

Orange Juice: C+  

Biting into a Lime: B+

Out of a Coconut Bra: A


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