Booze Review: Chila Orchata Cinnamon Cream Rum


Grade: A


Overview: Everyone has heard of RumChata (if not, you’re missing out), and a lot of you might have had regular Horchata at your favorite non-Taco Bell Mexican restaurant. Although Chila ‘Orchata and RumChata have the same alcoholic content, it’s the bit of cinnamon in this week’s reviewed booze that gives the drink an extra little kick.


History: Victor and Esteban were twins, born only 3 minutes apart, with Victor quickly inching out before his “little” brother. Since then, they were heated competitors in every aspect of life: winning parents’ attention, grades in school, and getting with girls. Esteban was always jealous of his brother, whom always seemed to have everything fall easily into his lap. When both brothers went to the same university and studied chemistry, Esteban knew he was destined for a lifetime of competition with his brother. He truly did love him but was always frustrated with being second best through his entire life.


As fate would have it, both of the men were interested in the alcohol business—Victor because he used it all the time to get girls, and Esteban because he needed some way to relieve his daily pain. After research and multiple taste tests, Victor began making, bottling and selling RumChata, which became an instant hit across the rum-drinking world. Esteban became enraged by this because Victor had stolen this recipe from his brother and did not give him any of the credit. To get some revenge, Esteban took the same formula but added one special twist: cinnamon. It was just enough to add a little spice and strength to the liquor but not a large amount to make one spit it out in disgust. It was perfect, delicious, and even better than this brother’s stolen creation. But unfortunately for poor Esteban, his brother overshadowed him once again. If only people could see and taste the little brother’s creation, the one that was only 3 minutes shy of worldwide fame...


Typical Drinkers: Middle children, younger brothers, classy Latina women, moms and people in soft cashmere sweaters.


User Comments:

“Quite creamy but better than a load to the mouth.”

“If I could just consume this for the cinnamon challenge, I know I’d win.”

“You don’t take shots of it, idiot! You sip it!”


Conclusion: Chila ‘Orchata is a great treat to indulge in at any time of day, whether it be with your coffee in the morning or vanilla tea before bed. So creamy, so cinnamony, so Hispanic.


Best Mixer: UV Cake

Worst Mixer: Sprite


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