Booze Review: Dr. McGillicuddy’s Intense Root Beer

 

When you’re over the flavored vodka phase and feel like whiskey is gonna be too hard on your tummy for the evening, you’re in a difficult spot when it comes to selecting a pregame beverage for the night. That’s where Dr. McGillicuddy’s comes in. Or so we thought.

Dr. McGillicudy’s Intense Root Beer seemed like something easy enough to take shots of and fun enough to mix. Although the best thing to mix with it would probably be cream soda, it’s not like liquor stores just have that stuff lying around. So instead, we grabbed a small bottle of Diet A&W, but we were wrong to think that we even needed a chaser. 

Sure the shots were sweet and simple to swallow, but the fun sorta stopped there. You could take 10 of them in a few minutes and not feel any of the effects of the 21% alcohol-by-volume kicker. It tasted too much like popsicles and a high school garage party to really get you anywhere, earning itself a D for just being so... so-so.

 

Grade: D

Typical Drinkers: People who don’t like the taste of alcohol but want to say they’re drinking to look cool, old men in saloons, The Daily Illini staff members during initiation.

User Comments: 

“Is it wrong to mix this with milk?”

“Are you sure you didn’t accidentally pour me a shot of just root beer?”

*takes shot* “Oh, that’s it?”

What Your Parents Would Say if They Saw You Drinking This: “Why are you being such a little pussy, son?”- Dad “Why are you being such a little pussy, son?”- Mom

An Apt Anagram of “Intense Root Beer”: Beerier Tone Snot

Best Described as a Rap Lyric: “Plus I got two white sluts down to blow me/Can’t you see I’m floating, like root beer in ice cream.”-Ab Soul, “Pineal Gland”

You’ll Like This if You Like: Highly anticipated events that end in disappointment, like the time Sally let you touch her boob;  Getting cavities filled by a hot dentist.

Food Pairing Suggestion:  A piping hot cheeseburger with all the fixings, and a large basket of french fries. If you still have room, a strawberry shake with a cherry on top. Mmm, the 50s seemed like a much simpler time, what with saturated fats and the daily fear of nuclear annihilation.

Mixing Center: Try pairing it with cream soda or a scoop of vanilla ice cream.

 

 
 
 
 
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