Booze Review: Monaco Vodka Cocktails

• Article by Staff
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• June 22, 2012
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• TAGS:
• Alcohol Reviews,
• Featured Articles,
• Drinkage

Grade: Black Raspberry: A-, Citrus Rush: B

Overview: Remember the days when you could buy badass mixed drinks in a can? You’d chug three in a row and run around with no pants like an insane person. Well, since the government banned the original Four Loko recipe we’ve been in withdrawal, missing the “two cans and you’re feeling good” sensation. Now, thanks to Monaco Vodka Cocktails, we’re back to living our life sans pants. Best of all, each 12oz can has two shots of vodka and is 9% alcohol. Ah, to memories we’ll never remember.

History: A few years ago, a couple Chicagoans were sick and tired of mixing drinks. The mere thought of having to get a glass, then get some ice, then get some vodka, and then find a good mixer was just too much. Worst of all, these dudes were running out of items to stir these mixed drinks. First they ran out of spoons, then knives, then wooden spoons, then cucumbers, then twigs, then Twix bars, then coffee stirrers. Then, in a tragic accident, one of the dudes lost a pinky when his pet guinea pig gnawed it off after it was used to mix a delicious combination of raspberry vodka with Sunny D and Squirt. From that point forward, they decided safety was paramount—after all, man only gets two pinkies. To be safe they put the mixer in a can, add a few shots, and pound away. Sadly, the guy who lost the pinky has a tough time holding the can, but the two shots of vodka in each can helps him forget.  

Typical Drinkers: Baby-handed bros, SweeTarts shift workers, guinea pig enthusiasts, Chicagoans (suburbanites need not apply).

User Comments

“Does this mix well with vodka?”

“I’M A MONSTER! A PINKYLESS MONSTER!”

“Something tells me the Citrus Rush has an infusion of citrus flavors and subtle floral and vanilla notes, with an incredibly smooth finish. Oh wait, it’s the website.”

Conclusion: If you’re looking for a drink in a can, ditch the Mike’s Hard and the Twisted Tea and grab yourself a couple of these. At 2 for $5, you can get a decent buzz going to start your day and take in a few vitamins from the fruit – it’s a win-win! The Black Raspberry was our choice, but the Citrus Rush was pretty tasty as well.