Booze Review: Ron Diaz Spiced Rum

 

Overall: B+

 

Overview: Ron Diaz Spiced Rum may not be the one of the featured items in your local liquor store, but let me say this is a diamond in the rough. My love for different types of rum always leads me to a damn good time, so when I picked out this bottle I was hoping that my alcoholic instincts would serve me well. Honestly, when I first purchased this rum I felt like it would taste like a rip off of Captain Morgan. However, good ole’ Ron Diaz threw my friends and I a nice curveball as we were blown away by how smooth and tasty it turned out to be; you can really experience the spices in this cheap alcohol without burning your throat. Whether it is in a straight shot or a mixed drink, Ron Diaz Spiced Rum is definitely a brand that can stand up to the big boys. 

 

History: Creator Ron Diaz is a wild party man to say the least. He is currently known as “The Charlie Sheen of the Barbados”, but Ronny boy wasn’t always “winning.” Turns out that Ron’s family had abandoned him when he was 17, and he was left to fend for himself as a teenager. Ron dropped out of school, built a shack out of palm trees, and hunted and grew his own food in Sweet Vale, Barbados. Ron was living a stress free life, and his favorite pastime was drinking rum. He was often referred to as the “rowdiest motherfucker in Sweet Vale”, and he was carried out of most bars in town because he could never stop drinking. Unfortunately about 4 years ago, Ron got into a bar fight with Damien Marley. He smashed a Landshark bottle over his head and was banned from all drinking establishments in Sweet Vale. Ron knew he was screwed, and realized the only way to experience his love for rum was to make his own. So with some dirty water, a few “secret” spices and ingredients, and lots of rubbing alcohol, he somehow created his cheap and delicious dark rum. Although he has become rich and famous, he suffers from depression because he is still banned from every bar in Sweet Vale to this day. 

 

Typical Drinkers: Jim Tressel, Surfer dudes, Matt Bellamy, Carlos Mencia, law students, single moms, Steve-O, Flipper, anyone in a Guy Harvey tank top. 

 

User Comments:

"Hold on bro, I need to get a separate flask for the dog.”

“Who the fuck is Carlos Mencia?”

“Dude, I cannot feel my face.” 

“I am terrified of the Progressive insurance lady.”

Conclusion: Ron Diaz Spiced rum gets the job done. The flavor is distinct and delicious, which is something I can’t usually say for liquor that only costs 14 bucks for a fifth. However, the only complaint I have about this rum is that the spices can affect shot-taking. This rum can be good for shots, but my recommendation is to do them in increments as opposed to one right after the next, otherwise the spices can become bland and make you want to switch to another drink. So an occasional shot is pretty good, but this rum isn’t the best for power hour. However, with that being said, Ron Diaz spiced rum is still a good change up from Captain Morgan and Bacardi, and it even comes with a cool cork cap so you can try to look suave around that group of underage girls that snuck into your house party. Ron Diaz really hit the jackpot on this one. Give it a try, you’ll save money and feel more alive than ever. 

 

Mixer Station: 

With Coke- A-

With OJ- B-

With Bacardi 151- D-

Off a hamster- F-

With toilet water- F-

With Mello Yellow- C

 

 
 
 
 
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