Chris Hardwick Destined to Host Everything

 

When Breaking Bad returned on August 11 for its final season, it was followed by a new show called Talking Bad. Talking Bad is an after show, hosted by stand-up comedian Chris Hardwick, that analyzes and discusses the episode of Breaking Bad that just concluded. Fans of The Walking Dead will be familiar with another show called Talking Dead, which discusses Walking Dead episodes. It’s also hosted by Chris Hardwick. There’s also a new Comedy Central panel show starting this fall hosted by, you guessed it, Chris Hardwick. You might have noticed that there’s an inescapable trend happening here. To really bring this into focus, in 2005 Hardwick even hosted The Minstrel Show, a fake TV show on a fake network on a CD of the same name by hip-hop group Little Brother. Yes, Chris Hardwick is destined to host everything, so you better get used to it. This is how we see his future panning out.

 

Talking Newsroom

For the next season of The Newsroom, Chris Hardwick will host an after show discussing Aaron Sorkin’s take on the news. Unlike other talk-back shows, Talking Newsroom won’t be aired until 9 months after each episode. The show will feature a panel of comedians and fans talking a mile a minute, recapping news stories that we just don’t care about anymore. Trust us, these events will spark just as much controversy the second time around. “What a great twist! Who knew they were gonna cover Trayvon Martin? Where do they come up with this stuff?”

 

Talking Up With The Kardashians

In this hour-long post-show, Hardwick will walk us through all the ins and outs of the Kardashian saga, from every two-day marriage to every shopping spree at Barneys. It will feature special guest Bruce Jenner and no one else. Although he’s the scariest-looking one of the bunch (next to Khloe), he does seem like he’s the most laid back and fun to be around. Kardashian fans can delve into all the horrifically intrusive details of the story with their main men Bruce and Hardwick. Nothing deserves in-depth analysis like the epitome of vacuous entertainment. “Why would she marry him?”  “Who does she think she is?”  “I can’t believe they killed off that character so soon!”

 

Talking Talking Dead

After the previous two shows have made their mark, everyone will want more of Mr. Chris. So he’ll expand on his base show, Talking Dead, and create its very own talk-back-talk-back show. On Talking Talking Dead, he’ll discuss the complex twists and turns that just went down on Talking Dead. This iterative fractal of a show of a show will change the game in the land of cable TV forever. “That was so cool when they talked about that time when Glen took out that walker with a chair!” “My favorite part was when they had that special effects guy on the show to talk about bloody makeup.” “Sometimes I forget what we’re actually watching…”

 

Pillow Talking

At the peak of his career, Hardwick will show up in your bed after you’ve had sex for some post-coital analysis. Special guests will include past hookups who are ready to examine how your sexual character arc has increased … or not. “Seemed like a bit of a slow episode. How many times do we have to watch the missionary position? The actors are giving it their all, but the writing is just repetitive.” “I found the dialogue lacking, Chris. There’s just no creativity. Sounds very familiar to me.” “Audiences have really responded vocally to the gentle hair pulling in the second act of the show. Twitter is blowing up with #PonytailFail. Definitely keep that up tomorrow night.”

 

Before you know it, Chris Hardwick will be popping up everywhere, recapping the things you love and love to hate (hence the Kardashian series). He won’t stop until he gets enough. Set your DVR and brace yourself. The time has come to re-live your favorite shows with The Nerdist himself.

 

 
 
 
 
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