Despite Winning Another Football Game, Ohio State Still Sucks
- Article by Timmy Sexton
- October 30, 2013
Ohio State sucks.
That’s right folks, Ohio State is still a bad school. They also have a bad football team. Urban Meyer is not good and neither is Braxton Miller. They will lose their bowl game because they are an overrated team.
Columbus, Ohio is a bad town in a bad state. That state would be Ohio. What is round on both ends and super awful in the middle? Ohio. And in the middle of Ohio is Columbus, which is a bad city that smells bad.
Famous alumni of Ohio State include Adolf Hitler, Satan, Pol Pot, Ivan THE Terrible, and Mark Emmert. What is interesting about this is that these are all some of the worst human beings to ever have walked the earth. Where were they educated on being so evil? The Ohio State University.
Ohio State has bad songs, cheers, mottos, and their mascot is a nut. At Penn State, our mascot is an animal that can kill people. The only people that a buckeye will kill is an Ohio State student when it falls from a tree and hits them in their head, destroying the last of the 4 brain cells they have left in there.
If you ever have the opportunity to go to the state of Ohio, don’t go. LeBron James left Ohio because it was such a bad state. He was lucky, because most people are stuck in Ohio and do not get opportunities to leave.
Unlike at Penn State where everybody is cool and attractive, everybody at Ohio State is an ugly loser. The boys at Ohio State are tools and the girls are all basic. At one point, the Big 10 considered making a Losers Division just so they could put Ohio State in it. Unfortunately, this idea was scrapped in favor of adding Maryland and Rutgers.
If you are ever at a job interview, and an Ohio State graduate walks in to interview for the same position, you can breathe easy. Ohio State graduates are made less competent for the jobs they apply for by having a degree from Ohio State.
So there you have it folks, Ohio State sucks and is bad. Remember, Ohio State Hate Week isn’t just a week – it’s a lifestyle.