Fifty Shades Greyer

Article by Morgan Foster
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July 13, 2012
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It seems that everywhere you go these days, you can spot middle-aged women fanatically clutching copies of Fifty Shades of Grey. Their eyes dart back and forth across the page, mouths slightly agape, drool pooling in their laps as they voraciously read their kinky little secret. At the end of the Fifty Shades series, the two main characters, Ana and Christian, are married and have a couple-a-kiddos, but their taste for BDSM has not been sated…

50 years later

“Oh, Ana!” Christian breathes huskily through clenched teeth, “You make me feel so alive!”

I pause in my task of rubbing Icy-Hot onto Christian’s wrinkled knees. Smiling, I say, “Feel that burn baby, you can take it.”

Christian coughs violently and then looks up at me lovingly. “Sorry, it’s just the emphysema acting up again.” Oh, yes. It’s a turn on. I tell him so. Christian raises his bushy grey eyebrows and grabs my hand. Knowing his mischievous intentions, I help him out of his Lay-Z-Boy and lead him into our pleasure room. It’s been so easy to get our fix now that our children are grown and out of the house. Teddy is a lawyer and Phoebe is a prostitute. I’m proud of their successes.

Once in the room, I caress Christian’s six grey hairs on his sun-spotted head. He smiles and pulls me into an embrace with his bony arms. I kiss him in response; his withered lips against mine make me sigh with lust. We’re really getting into it when a thought occurs to me. “Christian, did you remember to take your pills this morning?”

He frowns and scratches his head. “Honey, you know I don’t remember things so well anymore.”

I smile fondly and walk to the kitchen to check his daily pill holder. Ah, yes! Somewhere around my waist, my nipples harden. He took his pills. It’s unfortunate that he used his member so much when he was younger; he simply wore it out. Now he has to take three different erectile dysfunction pills to get it going. Oh, but when it works!

Back in the room, I sit on his lap and wink. His not-so-toothy grin greets me, as well as a slight twitch from his member. “Ah, it’s working!” Christian exclaims excitedly.

Ready to ride the pony, I get off his lap and do a little striptease for him. I shift my metal hip to wriggle off my off-white, high-waisted panties. Christian is panting heavily, and I begin to wonder whether his emphysema is acting up again or he is simply hot and bothered. I ask. When I’m assured that the latter is the case, I continue my striptease. I swing my JCPenney floral blouse over my head. My super-supportive bra is the next to go. Just as I’m walking towards Christian to seal the deal, the door to the play room opens and Taylor, Christian’s driver and security guard, walks in, wearing a moth-eaten sweater.

“Whoa!” he says. “Sorry I disturbed the action. Actually, mind if I join?” I’m not surprised. In fact, when he walked in on Christian and I years ago, we invited him in for some kinky fuckery, and he really spiced things up. Besides, I can see his wrinkly chest through the moth holes on his sweater, and it’s making my kitty cat purr.

“Oh Taylor, would you make it worth our while?” I ask demurely.

“Hell yeah Mrs. Grey, lemme just grab some cuffs and floggers, it’s gonna be a real wild ride,” he replies. Christian gives a little yelp of excitement.

“Sure Taylor,” I say with a wicked, dentured grin. And with that, Taylor inches forth with his cane to retrieve his goodies.

Meanwhile, I grind on Christian using my brand new metal hip as leverage. He looks lustily up at me with his cloudy grey eyes and says, “Babe, I need to pee.” What else is new? Annoyed by my husband’s untimely bladder issues, I stalk over to Taylor to see what he’s up to. I grab his saggy, khaki-covered ass. He turns around with handcuffs in hand and winks.

When Christian walks back in, I am handcuffed to the bed staring angrily at Taylor. He has fallen asleep mid-play, and I am left unsatisfied. “I’m glad that I’ll be the one to fulfill your needs tonight, Ana,” Christian says huskily. He rips off my granny panties and smacks my lumpy butt. Soon he’s humping till his back gives out (which only takes about five minutes). It’s okay though; I’m sated. I lick Christian’s spotted lips and smile as he falls asleep and snores like a rusty chainsaw. What a sexy sight.