Halloween for College Students


With Halloween just around the corner, kids everywhere are rushing local costume stores for the perfect Halloween get-up, dreaming of the sweet treats they’ll score on Halloween night. Running around with sheets thrown over our heads and ringing strangers’ doorbells in hopes of free candy may have thrilled us as children. We are college students now, and we’ve got to step up our game. It’s not about getting gobs of the best candy or having the most outrageous costume anymore. Being in college requires a whole new level of Halloween spirit.


Forget Hershey’s and Smarties. Your new Halloween goal will probably be to simply get as wasted as possible. If you’re lucky, you’ll then get laid by someone you won’t be able to recognize when their fake scars or porn-star makeup comes off the next day. Costumes are basically optional. If you must, go ahead and wear the dorky grim reaper costume you’ve used for the past fifteen years. But to make the most of the evening, you should just wear as few clothes as possible. Since your major goals for the night probably involve the removal of your clothes anyway, you’re just saving yourself a step. A little gel in your hair or drawn-on whiskers is about as dressed-us as you need to get.


Thanks to the fact that Halloween is traditionally characterized by candy, you can expect some of the most delicious drinks of your life. Think pumpkin pie shots, witch’s brew, and jungle boogie punch. Sure, you might regret drinking everything in sight later. But it’s like you’re paying respects to your elementary school days when you ate so much candy your stomach felt like it was punching itself in the face. You deserve to go a little bit overboard. Halloween only comes once a year.


Basically, just go all out and have fun. There really is no other purpose for Halloween and, as an added plus, the day after will probably be one of the only weekdays on which your professors will completely understand why you look like shit in their a.m. classes.  



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