How Your Favorite Celebs Celebrate 4/20
- Written by Leanne Johnson
- April 20, 2011
For all you stoners out there, April 20th is your favorite day of the year (besides free Slurpee day on 7/11). On this day, hippies all over the country smoke ganja and have good old-fashioned fun while barely escaping arrest and possible possession charges. Don’t be fooled though, hipsters and drug addicts are not the only ones who enjoy this day- your favorite celebrities do as well. Besides, what would you do if you had unlimited cash flow and basic laws of human decency didn’t apply to you? So, if you’re looking for some ways to spice up your 4/20 this year, just look to the stars for some ideas…
Lindsey Lohan: She stole our hearts when she starred in The Parent Trap, and now she’s just stealing really expensive jewelry. Today, LL is going to be spending the day in great peril. She has spent all year trying to figure out ways she can get high and drunk without failing her court-appointed drug tests, but she failed miserably at these attempts when she actually ended up behind bars. Now, in order to avoid another visit to the slammer, she is either going to A) stay sober or B) flee the country and get high as hell. I will leave you to decide which option is more probable…
Miley Cyrus: Given the recent video evidence of Mileysmoking “salvia,” it’s probably safe to assume she will be getting high on this high holiday. In fact, it is rumored she has been under the influence when she wrote some of her most inspirational ballads, such as “The Climb” and “Who Owns My Heart.” My guess is she will be spending some time writing even more profound lyrics when she’s blazin’ up the good stuff. I heard her newest single coming out will be called, “I Have a Wal-Mart Clothing Line that Makes Little Girls Look like Busted up Daytona Strippers.” Hm.
J.K. Rowling: If you think this world-renowned author and mother of three is not a stoner, think again. How the hell do you think she came up with that world of wizardry in the first place? No one sober would spend half their adult life barely scraping by, while writing thousands of pages about a boy who turns out to be a goddamn wizard prodigy. So, on 4/20, I bet good old Rowling will be lighting up in her Hogwarts look-a-like mansion with life-size cardboard cut outs of the HP stars, so she can relive the magic over and over again.
The Cast of Teen Mom: I don’t know if you can consider these people (if that is what you want to call them) celebrities, but they do seem to be in the tabloids a lot, and some even for drug use. I guess I assumed these girls celebrate 4/20 because I don’t know how you would think it was a good idea to keep a baby at 16 unless you were blown out of your mind. So, these young mothers will be calling up the babysitters and enjoying their day off from rearing the future leaders of our country, to light up a J. But, some cool (or just plain stupid) moms might forget the babysitter and introduce their children to their impending fate a little earlier than expected.
Lil Wayne: He is spending this day like he does every other day: blazed off his ass while making barely audible raps about hookers, trannies, and his recent jail time.
So, turns out celebrities are just like you on 4/20, smoking and having a good time. The only real difference is,if you got caught, instead of Perez Hilton blogging about you, you would be spending the night in county jail!