Little 500: A Bikers Perspective vs Everyone Else's
- Written by Kate Waxler
- April 18, 2012
With the world's greatest college week right around the corner, the madness is only about to begin. Urban Dictionary describes Little 500 as “a campus of 40,000+ students celebrating a seemingly ordinary bike race by engaging in a week of mind blowing, wasted beyond your wildest dreams, non-stop parties. Where class shuts down and drunken students stumble from bar to bar, frat to frat, street to street, drinking everything in sight, and no amount of alcohol poisoning can stop them.” While this is definitely true, have you ever wondered what it’s like to be a biker? To you, Little 500 may translate to a week of raging your face off, but that’s the exact opposite of what the bikers are thinking. Let’s take a look at the two opposing perspectives when it comes to the week of bike races and booze binging:
Bikers: "I’ve been training all semester for Little 500 race day. From weeknights spent at the track to road rides down to Monroe Lake and back, there is no way I could be in better shape for this day. "
Everyone Else: "I’ve been training my liver all semester for Little 500. From Two Dollar Tuesdays to darties every Friday, there is no way my tolerance could be any higher for this week of nonstop partying."
Bikers: "You can’t even begin to comprehend how many hours I’ve spent training at the track this week. I know exactly which pit is mine and I know the exact height of my seat. When that wall of wind hits me coming around turn two, I just keep telling myself to give it that extra push for the big W."
Everyone Else: "Thinking about how many classes I have skipped this semester would be concerning to most people. Instead of learning, I have opted to map out exactly where I will be spending every day and night of Little 500 week. From scoping out the booth with the best view at Roy’s to attempting to sneak into the back door of one of the frats, I know what I’m doing. Gotta keep training to come out on top as the Little 500 champ."
Bikers: "These bruises and gashes I keep finding on my legs are a mystery to me. Once I mastered exchanges, I figured my body would no longer look like I’d been beaten with a baseball bat, but I guess I was wrong. I think I’m going to name my bike 'Chris Brown.' Take a look at my shins, you’ll know why."
Everyone Else: "These bruises and gashes I keep finding on my legs are a mystery to me. Now that my tolerance is up I figured I would no longer be falling down stairs and running into things, but I guess I was wrong. My friends are starting to call me Rihanna…"
PERSPECTIVE ON OTHERS
Bikers: "I don’t even want to know what everyone else is doing during Little 500 week: Beer bonging, day drinking and boats? Can their drunken little brains even begin to comprehend how many hours, days, weeks and months I have spent training for this one day? I can count on one hand how many nights I have drank this semester. Hey idiots, thanks for 'supporting' me on race day by showing up so belligerent you can’t last more than 20 minutes. And no, Lance Armstrong is not my hero. "
Everyone Else: "Question: Why is this biking race thing such a big deal? Yeah, I get they train and shit, but who in their right mind would give up darties, boats, and endless beer bongs for a stupid bike? You’re doing big things bikers, but you’re no Lance Armstrong. Hey, I’ll take a shot in your in honor though. Maybe at the track before the race you’ll take a quick pull?"
With Little 500 creeping up on us faster than you can say PURDOUCHE, I hope this gave you a little insight on what the other side is thinking. Bikers, we’ll all be cheering your name when you come around turn four during the race. Everyone else, we’ll all be cheering your name when you’re bonging that beer at 9 a.m. One thing both sides can agree on: IT’S LITTLE FIVE SEASON, BITCH!