Messing With Campus Tour Groups

• Article by Katie Batt
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• April 16, 2012
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• Western Michigan

You’ve all seen them; the tour groups walking around campus. High school seniors. Parents. Unexplainable young children. We've all felt the urge to freak them out. I hope that, as college students, we also realize that this would be stupid. It’s still fun to imagine things to do to the tour groups though, isn’t it? Here are 5 fantastic ways you could scare campus tour groups. 

Wastern: This is incredibly unimaginative, but I think it would still be scary (for the parents, anyway). It’s your choice whether you get drunk or not, but make sure you have some sort of liquor bottle on you. Mess up your hair, stumble around and with bottle in hand run up to a group and yell, “Wastern!!” at the top of your lungs. You can also separate your fingers to make a “W”. 

Drug Dealer: Get a bag of grass. No seriously, real grass. Why would you wave a bag of real pot around in public. Also, grab a couple dollar bills and roll them up. Now that you have the right props, find a group. Choose a member and walk on up to them. Try offering them a great deal on your stuff. 

Sex Sounds Galore: If you live in the dorms grab a friend, open your window and wait for a group. As they get closer to the building start making sex noises and banging furniture against the wall or floor. If this doesn’t freak them out, we can go further.

School Spirit: This one gets slightly more interesting. Buy some body paint, strip down and paint your body brown and gold with a big “W” on your chest. Once you see a group, streak right in front of them. If you’re not afraid of getting arrested, stop to give one of them a hug. Scream, “WESTERN,” at the top of your lungs. 

McCracken: I got the inspiration for this one from a movie but I think it works. There is also a pun involved. So, here’s what you do. Wait until a tour group comes down by the fountain at Miller. As soon as they get close, rip your shirt off and jump into the fountain screaming, “I AM A MCCRACKEN FROM THE SEA!”

Feel free to come up with more creative ways to scare campus tours on your own. Even if none of these really scare tour groups, at the very least they’ll make campus more interesting. Also, most of these will scare the parents more than the prospective students. Personally, I would have found most of these hilarious. Who wants to go to a boring college, anyway?