MythBuster: Does beer before liquor really make you sicker?
- Article by Dana Borzea
- January 13, 2011
“Never take that one last shot”. “Don’t mix light and dark”. Those are a few phrases we live by when drinking. The phrase most sworn by college students, and other drinkers alike, is “Liquor before beer and you’re in the clear, beer before liquor and you’ve never been sicker.” Like most, I’ve listened to this advice since I took back my first shot many blurry nights ago. Again like most, when drinking that meant pounding shot after shot then following it by beer. If someone didn’t follow this order of drinking and then threw up like it was their job, we would immediately blame them for not listening to the phrase. Yet, if they puked buckets after following the order then we would simply blame it on aaaaaalcohol.
So what’s the deal? I decided I wanted to investigate and find out if beer before liquor is truly bad news. I couldn’t use myself for this investigation because I must admit I’m a bit of a lightweight and I would most likely get sick either way. I enlisted my friend Joe to help me out because he sure can handle his alcohol. The experiment was simple. I got Joe wasted first off some Keystone, always smooth beer, then made him take some shots of his old friend Admiral Nelson. Then I asked my intoxicated friend a few questions to see if this myth is worth saving the coronas until later.
So, Joe on a scale from 1-10 how drunk would you say you are?
“Ehhh an 8 almost pushing a 9”.
Perfect. Now, to describe the level you’re on what words would you use?
“Every single word in Get Out of Your Mind by Lil’ John. It’s like the song is on repeat in my head I love it.”
Say Susie sold seashells by the sea shore three times really fast.
This is what he sounded like: “Sushi shold sheshells buuy the she shore”.
Are you feeling the spins?
“Yeah not bad spins though I feel like I’m in a fun drunk teacup. Better than the one with Mickey and those guys because there’s not screaming and throwing up 5-year-olds everywhere”.
Do you feel like you’re going to visit yacktown?
“Nahh I got off the train the stop right before yacktown”.
Show me your keys, cell phone and wallet.
He stumbled around and his wallet was in his back pocket and his keys were in his front, but it took him a good 5 minutes to find his phone. What a rare occasion a drunk person loses their phone….NOT!
You see that girl over there? (Readers keep in mind that I just pointed to a solid 5) Would you hook up with her?
He takes a glance at her, “Oh hell yeah and her friend too. Bring them all back why the hell not. Not her though make her stay here.” At least he picked out the 4, good job Joe.
Now it’s time for the question to finish off this experiment. Do you feel any different now than when you’ve taken shots first?
“I’m schwasted. I’m feeling fantastic. I might have a grrrreat ending to my night. I haven’t thrown up on anyone, well yet. And tomorrow morning I know I’m going to feel like a bus ran me over then reversed and did it again. Yeahhhh not gonna lie there’s nothing really different from a typical drunk time.”
There you go ladies and gentlemen! It looks like this myth is definitely not as valid as we all assumed it to be. With it being the first weekend back at school after break, majority of you will be in Joe’s state of mind. Congrats! When it comes down to it go ahead take that one last shot, mix light and dark, and slam some brews before your liquor. The only rule to live by is “Know your limits”. BECAUSE NO ONE LIKES A SLOPPY DRUNK! No one…