Senior Bucket List
- Written by Elise Barbeau
- May 4, 2012
Before I leave behind the hallowed brick sidewalks of Newark, I took the time to plan out the most perfect go-out-with-a-bang night imaginable. Here, I share with you my simultaneously idiotic and brilliant plans. Your mission, underclassmen, is to re-enact these ideas before you don that cap and gown.
5:00 p.m.- “Porch-sit” at a friend’s house and reminisce on everything that was. To top it off, accuse passer-bys of being freshmen, and be sure to do it in an insulting tone.
6:00 p.m.- Head to your favorite happy hour location and order that drink that you’ve always been too cheap to buy. Hell, it’s probably your parents’ money anyway. Have a night class? Bring a “road soda” and meet up with your pals later at your old dorm building.
7:30 p.m.- Visit the dorm room that you remember being hot and impossibly small. Take a picture with your old roommate (that is, if you still speak). Upon entering, be wary of potential anime posters and/or a feeling of extreme nostalgia.
8:00 p.m.- Participate in a pitcher race with your senior friends, preferably at Margherita’s or Grotto. Grab a slice, then initiate the bar crawl. Whoever loses the race buys each member of the other team a drink at the next location. Dance your ass off at each and every establishment.
10:30 p.m.- Whether you’re getting down on the dance floor or creeping on junior girls, do things at the bar you always wish you had the chutzpa to do. Body shots, crowd surfing, and dancing on the bar are all acceptable choices. After all, this is the last time in your life where people will look on this kind of behavior with respect and not disgust.
12:00 a.m.- See the guy or girl you’ve always had a crush on but never dared to speak to? Now is your chance to have one last random, guilt-free hookup. Buy him or her a drink and see where the night takes you. Maybe you can invite them along for the next event…
1:00 a.m.- So, you’ve hit Deer Park, Rooney’s, Kildare’s, Kate’s, and Timothy’s? Not to worry, your night isn’t over. Take one last shot of liquid courage and streak the green. End in the fountain by the library, and high-tail it out of there before the rent-a-cops show up. Cut through Alison Hall as a backup escape route.
2:00 a.m.- During your flight from the fountain, take the time to listen for a house party. If you find one, crash it like you own the place. If someone asks you “Who do you know here?” Matt, Dan, or John are safe bets. And if someone asks you “Why are you naked?”, say “It’s not that kind of party? That’s too bad. ” I recommend bracing yourself for the inevitable crash to the ground as you are thrown out.
3:30 a.m.- Congratulations, you’ve survived the most epic night of your life! Get your ass home, chug a beer, and fall asleep to thoughts of infamy. All four years of college led up to this one night, and you nailed it.
Even though my stint at UD is drawing to an end, I’ll find pride in the fact that the time has come for me to pass on the traditions of hat basement parties, late-night Freddy’s, and overall bad decisions to the next generation of Blue Hens.