So You Want to Get Laid on Campus? (UGA Edition)

• Article by Karl Schleider
• 
• |
• February 21, 2011
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• TAGS:
• Sex,
• Featured Articles,
• Georgia

Winter is thankfuckingfinally almost over.  It’s about that time to walk around campus in shorts or short skirts once again.  At most colleges, and especially the University of Georgia, getting laid is way easier in the Spring than in the Winter.  When walking around campus, guys and girls are sure to be checking each other out.  The only problem is that sometimes the sexual tension at UGA is so unbearable that you just can’t hold it in.  That’s when you’ve got to get your fuck on while still on campus.  There’s always a solution for those urges, in the form of special areas of the campus specifically meant to use for getting it on.

First of all, most floors of the library are the perfect places to sex it up.  Honestly who the fuck reads books now anyway?  Besides the media lab, the library is a ghost town meant to be fucked all over.  Specifically, any back corner of the 7^th Floor is perfect to use.  You may even want to read a bit of Chaucer when you’re through, because nothing gets the ladies hotter than a slice of the Canterbury Tales.

Here’s another tip:  Let’s say you’re at the campus movie theater, and your girlfriend dragged you to another Channing Tatum movie.  You’re bored out of your fucking mind but Tatum’s twelve pack abs have put her in the mood.  Luckily for you there’s a bathroom in the back of the theater that not everyone is even aware of. It’s a one person bathroom so you can pull it off and put it in without anyone figuring it out.  After suffering through another pointless monologue Channing Tatum spews about becoming a good guy, sneak off into the bathroom and cash in on that pretty boy’s lack of talent.  From then on you’ll be sure to take her to any of his shitty movies. Just be sure to keep it down because those bathroom doors in the movie theater are thinner than Justin Bieber’s arms.

If you’re not able to find time to see a movie, duck into the Fine Arts Building.  There are so many random closets and unused rooms that you could have sex for days in there without anyone finding you.  The best option, though, is backstage in the cellar theater.  One great feature of the cellar theater is how it’s at the very bottom of the building so it has the least amount of traffic.  Secondly, it’s the perfect time to practice role-playing.  There might be some spare costumes lying around on the floor so you should take the time to dress up for the hottest sex of your life.  Or maybe you dress up as something crazy just because you’ve always wanted to see experience being an alien and fucking a flapper girl.  No one’s judging you, broskie.

Another personal favorite is the basement of the journalism building.  You are probably noticing a trend here:  Basement=getting laid.  If you’re feeling ballsy, you might “borrow” a video camera from a classroom to create a “personal art project.”  There is nothing hotter than creating a sex tape after illegally acquiring school property for your personal use.  Just hearing that sentence will make anyone ready to get down.

Just in case you use any of these places, be sure to use protection.  Protection means a condom, not a gun.  But some of these places can get kind of shady, so maybe you should bring both.  Hopefully you don’t get caught by some teacher, unless it’s that sexy TA that’s been eyeing you all semester.  Then maybe a threesome is in the cards.  Dear Penthouse Forum…