So You're Considering Day Drinking...
- Written by Merritt Rethlake
- May 3, 2012
So you’re considering day drinking? First question – why are you still in the consideration stage? Day drinking is the best thing to have ever happened to drinking. And with the crazy nice weather we’ve had this year, good ole’ mother nature has practically been begging us to come out and play. VEISHEA, football games, and 100+ person lectures all support day drinking as well. Not to mention the summer season is going to turn you into an outdoorsy person. And by that, we mean you’ll just be moving the raging you do inside houses to outside patios.
The beauty of day drinking is that there really is no essence of time. It’s just… daytime. There’s no regard for other responsibilities or other possible priorities. Getting through a case before 3 p.m. becomes your sole responsibility and top priority. Be careful though. This is a marathon, not a sprint. And for all you shit talkers out there who are going to tell me that you sprint marathons, here are some words of wisdom: No. No, you don’t. Let’s be honest. The only person who has the physical capacity to endure such a thing would probably be Katniss Everdeen.
Days that will go down in legend start off with a mimosa or a Mike’s Hard. “Oh, I’m not looking to get fucked up. I’m chillin’ mostly.” Yeah. Next thing you know, they’re chillin’ mostly inside a dumpster, purging their body of all drinks, snacks, and internal organs.
Some rookies aren’t in support of day drinking. “Omg you’re gonna like pass out at dinner time if you start drinking so early.” “Omg I only rage when it’s dark out.” “Omg the bars aren’t even open during the day time.” To these narrow-minded fun haters we have one four-letter word for you: CHUG.
There is special attire for day drinking. Real talk: we’ve all seen girls get way too dressed up to be sitting on a tree stump, attempting to play beer darts. Yeah, sure, she might play it off like her heels are creating holes for the lawn’s irrigation. But in the back of her mind you know she’s thinking, “Damn it. I should’ve worn my Sperrys.” Take those comfy shoes, along with a rage tank and oversized sunglasses, and you’ve got yourself a day drinking uniform. You can add on rage hats, rage shorts, or rage accessories wherever you feel necessary.
You don’t need another reason to get trashed mid-day, but we’ll give you one anyway: lawn games. These are exceptional because they cater to both drunk and less drunk crowds. Standard drinking games like flip cup and beer pong can definitely be brought out on the patio. This is what we like to call “roughing it.” Bags is a staple. If you are day drinking, you must play bags. The Natty Light pumping through your veins turned this friendly game into a competition fiercer than Greek Week Egg Joust. (Just kidding, nothing is more terrifying and ferocious than that event.)
The point of all this is to get you out of that “consideration” stage. Day drinking is wonderful. And we think you’re wonderful. So get out there and grab a drink before you call it a day.