Suck it, BCS

Article by Mike O Keefe
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December 9, 2010
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Guys, we did it. The most wins in Spartan football history. The team fought through adversity, hardship, near death experience(s), and a guy with untied shoes who looks like the Predator with the tenacity and willpower of Scott Skiles’ tiny shorts.

As a guy who prides himself on watching every snap of Spartan football every season, I can honestly say that I am extremely proud of this team. They showed a ton of character throughout the year and are well deserving of their fantastic record. Equally, our coach did not play that Josh Groban song in front of people. Nor will he ever. With all due respect to Mr. Groban, he is not for the football crowd. We are Buble people and we will always be Buble people.

Given our record and the teams we defeated, some thought that our team might have been a contender for a BCS game and maybe, just maybe, a Rose Bowl appearance. But, of course those people thought wrong because they are idiots with small brains.

However, a big thanks goes out to Wisconsin- a team we beat while our head coach enjoyed theJell-O at Sparrow Hospital. Those Badgers scored more points on a weekly basis than their equally infuriating and caucasian basketball team. And who could forget to recognize Ohio State University for being completely worthless, yet again. Thank you for being the national letdown that you are every year.

Last week, Big Ten coach of the year Mark “I’m About to Put My Foot in Your Ass” Dantonio spelled it out with facts. Of the three schools, we have the best record against bowl eligible teams (8-1), played the toughest schedule (38^th in the nation), and with our win over Wisconsin, boast the best victory of any team in the conference. Frankly, we got robbed.

Nonetheless, we will look to the future because this will be the first of many seasons of this kind. I don’t know if I’m jumping the gun, but I have already put down a non-refundable $5 deposit on the bottom bunk of a hostel bed in Pasadena for New Year’s Day, 2012. I will be using that reservation regardless of how the team does, as we all know that the world will end in 2012. And what better way to celebrate the last year of the world than spending quality time with a bunch of sweaty German tourists who want to know what I think about re-runs of My Name is Earl. Seriously, that’s what people in hostels talk about.

This year, we will be playing in the Capital One Bowl in beautiful Orlando, Florida where our opponent will be the Alabama Crimson Tide for the first time ever. These soon-to-be losers won’t know what hit them because Greg Jones will literally hit the numbers off of their helmets. I’ve seen him do it, and it’s freaking awesome. He gives serial killers nightmares.

And if there’s one thing we can learn from all of this, it’s that we can do it. We will do it again. This program is on the right track… and that Josh Groban guy is kind of a Nancy.