The Pinterest of Porn

 

Two weeks ago, as the comedic geniuses of the The Black Sheep staff united forces to discuss our brilliance, we found ourselves struggling to harness our comical ingenuity. Our regular workshop staples of margaritas, tequila shots, and laptops were not producing the hilarious article concepts the world has come to expect from us. Trust us, the copious amounts of tequila had nothing to do with our struggles – so don’t even try to “blame it on the al al al al al alcohol, baby,” because booze is our only catalyst for writing.


Admittedly, our difficulties stemmed from a website whose content would make Richard Simmons frown. We were looking at Pinterest… but it was porn. We were looking at porn… but it was Pinterest. No wonder we couldn’t think of awesome shit to write—we were looking at the Pinterest of Porn—Sex.com.


Seriously, how popular has Pinterest become in today’s society? In the olden days of 2010, Facebook would be prime suspect for most popular website amongst college students. Times have changed and Pinterest runs shit now, at least amongst females. Daily, The Black Sheep staff sees girls browsing the site, talking about something they thought was pinnable, or making absurd crafts and desserts they have run across while pinning. College girls like Pinterest as much as they like getting money from their parents, but why?


Pinterest is successful because it allows the user to take everything they like on the Internet and organize it visually. Maybe that’s why guys don’t use it – organization is dumb and the world would be better off without it. The user has the ability to upload anything they see on the world wide web. Conversely, anything uploaded can be seen by your friends. The content is then arranged into searchable categories: food, weddings, puppies, home décor, periods, etc.


This is a website that organizes similar interests, while making it easy to upload, browse, and customize content, while also providing an area to give feedback? This is the future of the Internet! Want proof? Here it is: The titans of the Internet industry—porn executives—love it.


Sex.com, the second most expensive Internet domain in the world (worth approx 13 milli), copied the absolute shit out of Pinterest. Like the whole entire concept. This is Sex.com’s description of themselves:


“Sex.com allows you to gather, organize and share all the free porn you find on the web! People create pinboards to bookmark all their favorite porn videos & pictures. With just one click, you can pin porn from anywhere on the web and add it to one of your pinboards.”


Does that description sound eerily familiar?  If not, please stop touching yourself and pay more attention. Everything about Sex.com screams, “I am Pinterest, hear me roar!” —except for the content... And oh, does Sex.com provide the content.


The Black Sheep values originality (but way less than you are probably thinking), however we also know a superior product when we see one. Sex.com is the best porn website we have ever seen, Pinterest is not. Obviously our vessel for masturbation is our favorite of the two sites. Sex.com appeals to every dude that doesn’t do Pinterest, which is still hovering at around 99.9999 percent of all guys. But while guys are avoiding Pinterest like the plague, The Black Sheep knows that ladies will leave the comfort of Pinterest to browse Sex.com, “for the familiar layout of course.” Ha ha, yeah, right. It’s because girls like orgasms too and it’s a ridiculous notion that porn has an exclusively male audience.


Ultimately, Sex.com is more focused than Pinterest and that’s why the stolen concept works so well. The entirety of the Internet is not at your disposal when uploading or surfing Sex.com. The content is sex—so please, no wedding pins! There are 59 unique categories to choose from on Sex.com; the A’s include: Amateur, Anal, Asian, Ass, and Athletic. Does the public even need the other 54 category options? Let’s say you and your significant other are unique and like watching hairy, Hentai shemales do their thing on camera. Now you have a site that allows for a search of all that weirdness.


If you read this entire article without searching Sex.com on any device with Internet capabilities—God bless your soul, you are stronger people than we at The Black Sheep. When you do get there and stumble across the hairy, Hentai shemale pins, know that our staff didn’t pin those. But we probably saw them, even though we’re not into that. At all. Scout’s honor.

 

 
 
 
 
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