The Truth About Being a Super Senior
- Written by Kyle Kivett
- October 19, 2011
Dearest freshmen, sophomores, juniors, and seniors,
Hi, my name is Kyle and I’m a SUPER senior. My life blows. Have you ever heard the saying, “Leaving college after four years is like leaving a party at 11:00”? When you’re a super senior it’s like you’re the guy passed out drunk, on a stranger’s couch, in the late morning. You don’t feel cool, you just feel lonely and confused. I’m sure while you’re reading this you’re probably hungover or hangin’ out on the couch with your friends. If so, you must start enjoying your free time the second after reading this because I once did those things too - and sadly, it doesn’t last forever. I currently live off of a road that doesn’t end with “Michigan”, I barely have any friends in Kalamazoo and I completely forgot about Wayside Wednesdays up until about five minutes ago, damn Alzheimer’s. When you’re a super senior, the changes hit you all at once and again sadly, these changes aren’t so great.
You see, when I was a sophomore I decided that changing my major would be the coolest thing ever. All the classes I had taken up until then were now useless and I couldn't have cared less. In my head, I figured it would be ok because everyone takes five years to graduate right? Wrong. By my fourth year the writing was on the wall – I was going to have one lonely and awkward fifth year.
When you’re a super senior, it doesn’t hit you that you could’ve graduated until you see a damn cap and gown on one of your friends. That was the beginning of my meltdown. After graduation comes relocation and before I knew it, my best friends were packing up their things to move. What I never realized was that when they moved, my social life went along with them. Super seniors usually have one thing on their mind and that’s graduating, but every now and then we like to go out too. The problem now is that your posse of friends is gone. So, we end up working on homework and calling in noise complaints on a Saturday night. Seriously, fuck our lives.
The living situation for a super senior isn’t luxurious either. During my fourth year (I use Harry Potter lingo now in regards to years) of college, I lived in this great house with four of my best friends. It was right off of West Michigan and only a block away from the bars. There was always cold beer and leftover pizza in the fridge – it was amazing. Well, once most of your friends leave, you’re forced to downgrade. If you’re lucky, you will still have one or two friends in the area to live with. Even so, you go from living in a house with a revolving door to a spotless three-bedroom apartment with a new zip code. Don’t plan on decorating for the holidays because no one will see them.
So, with all of these changes you’d think going to school would be a nice escape from reality right? Nope. Everyone around you is a year or two younger, and in terrible cases you personally know or have previously slept with your teacher. During class, people practically shun you because of your super senior status. It’s true, in fact I’ve actually started to omit the fact that it’s my second senior year and just say it’s my first. Campus also becomes sort of a graveyard of memories. While I walk to and from classes, I realize that I’m the last one of my friends still here and immediately start to cry. Ok, I’m being dramatic but every building does has some sort of memory with people that are long gone which sucks more than a freshman girl.
There is one perk though about being the super senior and that is you can completely let yourself go! While your other friends are prepping for job interviews and making sure they have the right business attire, you still have one more year to be a complete bum. And since you’re not going out to the bars or seeing people anymore you can skip out on the tanning packages and take a breather from the gym. Go ahead and eat that tasty donut. If you’re gonna be sad and lonely, you might as well be fat and happy while doing it!
In the end, remember boys and girls that unless you want to be the last of your friends on campus while living in a small apartment and gaining weight excessively, try to graduate on time and beat that super senior curse. Take my word for it; the party definitely ends at 11:00.