Top 10: Biggest Asshole College Football Coaches

 

Smack talk. Recruiting violations. Cockiness. It’s all part of the job, right? Unfortunately, these seem to be the credentials for some of the nation’s best college football head coaches. Here are the ten worst. 

 

10.) Bo Pelini: Other than chewing out his own quarterback, every referee, and some of his assistant coaches on national TV, Pelini is a nice guy. He even promised a United States naval officer the opportunity to call a play during Nebraska’s bowl game two years ago. Oh wait, he never lived up to that promise, and sourly remarked that it was all a joke. Good one, Bo.

 

9.) Will Muschamp: Muschamp is one of the most animated coaches in college football. He dances up and down the sideline, screams his head off and throws his headset. Now if he would only stop yelling at the sideline reporters too. It’s just a game, Focker!

 

8.) Mack Brown: Brown is considered to have the “best job in college football.” He has a wealth of talent to pick from in the Lone Star state, a fantastic facility and a $5.2 million salary at a time when Texas is making academic budget cuts. He also blames his team’s current struggles on the team’s commitment to the Longhorn Network TV channel. 

 

7.) Mike Leach: Everyone knows the story of Leach locking a player in a dark electrical closet (which was more of a garage than a closet) after he pissed him off. But the worst part is that he refused to apologize. Instead, he chose to be fired before writing a simple apology. 

 

6.) Urban Meyer: He gave us Tim Tebow. That should be enough. But add in the fact that he bolted from Florida to “spend more time with his family” only to take a job as a commentator for a year. Then he went to the center of college football douchiness, Ohio State. 

 

5.) Les Miles: There are some coaches out there who truly believe they are doing kids a favor by letting them play on their team. Les Miles is one of these coaches. He recently blasted a 17-year old recruit publicly for not choosing LSU, saying he didn’t have “the chest” to lead his team. I guess being Bama’s less athletic little brother in the SEC can stress a guy out. 

 

4.) Nick Saban: Robo-Saban is a heck of a coach. But he’s known for being robotic in how he interacts with the media. No emotion, no humor, no fun. Ever. Strictly business. There’s even a story going around about how Saban once ignored and stepped over a vomiting, convulsing player instead of seeing if he was ok. Robo-Saban not programmed for emotion. Robo-Saban programmed to win.

 

3.) Rich Rodriguez: RichFraud signed an extension with his old team, West Virginia, just four months before leaving for Michigan where he led them to their worst season in history (3-9), and a shit ton of NCAA violations. Oh, did we mention that his resignation came just two weeks before WVU was set to play Oklahoma in the Fiesta Bowl? He also has the dirtiest mouth in college football. Often degrading players so bad that they leave the team to keep their dignity. 

 

2.) Steve Spurrier: The Ol’ Ball Sack, er, we mean coach, really knows how to stir the pot. Spurrier is notoriously hated by the entire SEC as well as every educated resident of South Carolina. Yeah, you won the Heisman like 50 years ago, but what happened in the pros again? Oh, that’s right, nothing. As a player OR a coach. While he was a great coach for the Gators in the 90s, he’s the perfect dick to coach the Cocks. 

 

1.) Lane Kiffin: Where do we start? How about Kiffin’s bitch fight with the late Al Davis, the former owner of the Oakland Raiders? Kiffin was fired for being a “flat out liar,” and was such a little bitch about it that he decided to steal all of the assistant coaches and bring them to Tennessee. Then he weaseled out of UT after a 7-6 season to head to USC. Despite no big wins on his resume, the douchiest coach in college football continues to find work at big time schools. He also continues to produce nothing but unfulfilled expectations and a wave of NCAA violations.

 

 
 
 
 
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