Top 10: Dance Crazes to Replace the Harlem Shake

 

Let’s face it, we’re all pretty sick of the Harlem Shake craze. The one done at the retirement home was admittedly pretty precious, but do we need to have our Newsfeeds clogged with versions done by every college organization and bored adolescent in the entire United States? In an attempt to give us something (anything!) else to watch on YouTube while avoiding doing our homework, we have compiled a list of the top ten dance crazes we’d like to see become the new Internet dance sensation.

 

10.) The Macarena: Flash back to elementary school. Remember how cool you felt shaking your prepubescent ass to a song that may or may not have been in Spanish? Now imagine being able to shamelessly perform it on video with a hundred of your classmates. Besides, you still have the song on your iPod anyway, admit it.


9.) The Irish Jig: Because who wouldn’t love to see viral videos of their school mascot wearing a frilly sequined dress and bouncing up and down to the Dropkick Murphys? Kilts required.

 

8.) Disco: This one would especially appeal to our parents’ generation who have just now figured out how Internet memes work. They would appreciate a cultural reference they actually can relate to. Although we would have to place a limit on the number of wine-addled, overweight middle-aged women who think it’d be hilarious to film their own version in their bell bottoms from high school.

 

7.) Waltzing: Imagine enormous flash mobs waltzing in front of Ayres with absolutely straight faces. Now try not to laugh. Point made.

 

6.) The Electric Slide: The number one requirement for this video category would be to film this dance being performed at half past midnight by sloshed and giggling bridesmaids at every wedding reception in the United States. It’d be an instant YouTube sensation, especially amongst lonely and horny guys.

 

5.) The Bump n’ Grind: There would be no shortage of opportunities to film this one being performed by huge groups of people -- parents could make a killing with this one by sneaking into their teenagers’ school dances. Although the pedophilic, cradle-robbing aspect of watching those might be a major drawback… to some people, anyway.

 

4.) Square Dancing: Soccer moms at a Garth Brooks concert! Rednecks at a NASCAR race! Drunk sorority girls in cowboy boots at Cotton-Eyed Joe! Around here, the filming possibilities are truly endless.

 

3.) The Hava Nagila: Bearded, bespectacled Orthodox Jews dancing in a circle holding someone in a chair above their heads. They just don’t make quality entertainment like that anymore. Somebody please popularize this dance outside Bar Mitzvahs.

 

2.) The Dougie: Forget makeup and cooking tutorials – what we really need in the endless stream of online instructional videos is for someone to teach us how to Dougie. It’s in the lyrics, isn’t it? We just want what we’re due.

 

1.) The Real Harlem Shake: Yes, friends, this is a real dance, not just a group of people jumping around in wild costumes and calling it “dancing.” The real Harlem Shake originated in Harlem, New York in 1981 and is performed by wildly shaking your body. It is infinitely more awesome to watch than the more recent version, but good luck trying to find a video of the actual dance amongst the 100,000 meme versions.

 

 
 
 
 
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