Top 10: Politically Incorrect Halloween Costume Ideas
- Written by Will Holloman
- October 13, 2011
10) Casey Anthony: There’s nothing really offensive about Casey Anthony’s outfits or anything, it’s just, you know, she was kinda on trial for the murder of her own daughter. So, seeing her at a Halloween party would be pretty frightening.
9) Roy With Tiger Clamped on Neck: Remember, there’s no getting offended by any of these costume ideas because that’s what the category is. With that being said, dress of Roy from Siegfried and Roy and in the midst of a party, happen to spill your drink because a tiger came out of nowhere and mauled you. Or you can just tape a stuffed tiger to your neck.
8) Amy Winehouse: The only reason this didn’t make it further to the top of the list is because honestly, who didn’t see this coming (Yes, I’m referring to both the costume idea and her actual death). She wrote a song about not going to rehab and woke up every day looking like the physical embodiment of crystal meth.
7) Stephen Hawking: Everyone has a sense of humor. It may be hidden deep inside you, but it’s there; just trust me. Therefore, I can make a list of things that Stephen Hawking can’t do, but one thing I can assure you he can do is laugh. So, just go out garage sale-ing or to the pawnshop and find a wheel chair. Tape a calculator to one of the arm rests. Wear a nice suit, and spread your wings.
6) Westboro Baptist Church: This idea might be a terrible idea. Why? Because its not like you can dress up as one of these people. They have no costumes. You can dress as a puppy or as Batman and still be part of this Klan…I mean group. Just dress as yourself and live the night with the mindset of a super ridiculous asshole. For example, interject a conversation wherein your friends are discussing who spilled whose drink and start blaming it on people that aren’t even at the party.
5) Suicide Bomber: Get some hot dogs. Whether or not you cook them is entirely up to you. I mean, if you like to eat your costume, that’s totally cool. But whatever; get some hot dogs. Line them up on your chest next to each other. Get some shoelace and glue it to the end of one of the hot dogs. Then, keep the other end of the shoelace tied to something in your pocket. Just whatever you do, don’t go running past a cop.
4) Hurricane Irene: This one is pretty straightforward. Dress up as whatever kind of “messy” girl you can think of. Wear girl clothes, put on make-up, wear a wig; whatever floats your boat. Then, glue a picture or two of things from New York on your shirt or something. If you really wanna be dedicated to this costume, you can spin in circles every time you walk somewhere, but that might caused you to “hurlicane.”
3) Department of Erection: Follow these steps for this costume. First, get a cheap jail costume from a party store or wherever they sell Halloween costumes. Make sure that it says “Department of Corrections” on the back of it, though. Second, get an orange cone. The size of it depends on you; just understand that this cone will be going in your pants on your crotch. Third, cross out the “Cor” on the back of the uniform and put a big “E” in its place. Place the cone in your pants as you walk around and “ta-da!” You’re going to be such a rising star.
2) Chilean Miner: This costume can be a serious dedication. It all starts with the task of not showering for (at least) a week before the planned dress up date. No brushing your teeth either. Find some sort of miner costume (i.e. button up shirt, boots, whatever pants, weird hat; just get creative) and be sure to wear it for the week that you’re not showering. The one essential piece to this costume is the miner hat with the flashlight on it. That’s going to be the thing that seals the deal. The last thing you gotta do is make yourself a nametag with a Chilean name on it.
1) Human Centipede: Gross. Ugh. We’ve all seen this movie, right? Okay well, if you haven’t, just go see it right now. Or not even do that; just look up what the movie is about. We all understand why you wouldn’t want to reenact any of this for Halloween. Listen, there’s a fine line between dedication and just being completely fucking gross. If you choose this costume, you are the latter.