Top 10: Raunchy Songs


Here is an analysis of some of the raunchiest songs lyrics by the whitest girl ever.  I hope my mom doesn't read this.


10. Closer - Nine Inch Nails: "I want to fuck you like an animal, I wanna feel you from the inside." Why would anyone want to copulate like an animal? I thought having sex like a human was pretty good.


9. Gimme That Nut - Eazy E: "Spread them legs open far and wide. Fuck this shit just let me put my dick inside." Besides the fact that 'far and wide' sounds like it could be the name of a travel agency, Eazy E's lyrics are classic. I like them because they're just nice and simple and right to the point.


8. Put Her In the Buck - 2 Live Crew: "I'll break you down and dick you long, I'll go between them legs that's open wide, bust you pussy then break your backbone, pushin' this dick from side to side." Man, that's gotta be one sizeable phallus to be breaking all sorts of female body parts.


7. Some Cut - Trilville: "Cause all I wanna do is just drill, with that ass in the air, and the pussy I kill, and I feel, you love to fuck up on a hill, suck dick from behind, and take nut in your grill."Drilling Trilville? You're not some rig extracting oil. You're having sex with a woman, which, believe it or not, is a living thing.


6. Drips - Eminem: "She foamin' at the lips, the one between them hips, pubic hairs lookin' like some sour cream dip." Now that's just a disturbing image. I will never look at sour cream the same way again, which is a shame because sour cream is so good.


5. My Neck, My Back - Khia: "Then you roll your tongue, from the crack back to the front then suck it off til I shake and cum." We should all thank Khia for giving the world a very descriptive and helpful lesson on the art of performing oral sex on a woman... I like men.


4. Slob On My Knob - Three 6 Mafia: "Squeeze on my nuts, Lick on my butt...I said bend over, I started to knock, then came the odor, smelled like mush, shouldn't had a woosh, told her to stop, and take a dush." I really should invite Three 6 over to my Grandma's because she cooks up a delicious pot of mush. (Mush is a thick porridge or pudding of cornmeal boiled in water or milk.) I don't know who's been cooking for Three 6, but they must suck.


3. Play - David Banner: "Finger fuck your pussy like you want some, girl...a ***** can't fuck, what you think your finger made for... work your thumb in it girl...Then you pull it out, put your fingers in your mouth." You mean girls have fingers for reasons other than masturbating in front of David Banner?! Who would've thought!?


2. Gangster of Love - Geto Boys: "If she's got big titties, I squeeze 'em and hold'em while she suck my dick and lick my scrotum... and right before I nut, I pull it out, then to the face, and tell the bitch to keep suckin' and prepare herself for her first butt fuckin'." At least the Geto Boys are considerate enough to warn the big breasted woman about anal sex instead of just abruptly doing it. No woman likes that surprise.


1. Fack - Eminem: "Uh your finger just went in my ass...Take it out now , Oh wait a minute ow put it back in, in in in... now see that gerbil, grab that tube, shove it up my butt, let that little rascal nibble on my asshole." What can be said about this other than how does he come up with this stuff?


Well, there you have it. The grossest, raunchiest song lyrics you can possibly listen to. Guys, if you want a second date, I'd advise you not to play these songs to "set the mood."


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