Why Studying Is Better Than Sex
- Written by Nathan Palcowski
- March 20, 2012
We’re all told by our friends, family members, and teachers that college is the time to explore new options and to try different things. For some, this means going out and raging hard. For others it’s a brand new start, a new beginning to crack down, hit the books and become a better student. Throughout college you’re supposedly finding yourself. Some college men and women find themselves waking up the next morning in a bed they’ve never seen, in a place they’ve never been to, and can’t even remember what the hell they did last night. Point being ladies and gentlemen, though sex may be good, studying is way better. Why?
You can usually find somebody to do it with.
Some people just have a way with words and actions, allowing them to snatch a man or women for the night; some people don’t. It’s the same with studying. Some people just know how to study very well, while others have a hard time just getting started. There are always groups out on campus that would love to study. It sucks to say, but there are no groups out there just looking for somebody to have sex with. Unless you’re willing to pay them.
When you open a book, you don’t have to worry about who else opened it.
Let’s face the facts… we’re in college. You can get drunk as shit one night and meet some very nice women, and if you have enough “game” you can get lucky and take this DTF partner home. The problem is, when you wake up the next morning and you’re figuring out what the hell you did, the next thought is, “where can I go to get checked?” Because it’s college, and it doesn’t matter how much you like this bang buddy, you have no clue if he or she has been around the block or stuck in the garage. With studying you don’t have to worry about this nonsense. You know when you’re opening that book, that it doesn’t have anything that sticks with you the rest of your life. Except for knowledge…awww.
You can finish early without feelings of guilt or shame.
Studying will not look you in the eye after you’re done and say, “that’s it?” Studying won’t go off and tell all of its friends that you can’t finish the job on both sides of the spectrum. No, studying doesn’t care about itself; it’s only there for you. Sex, on the other hand, well there is that certain point of mutual respect that you want to make the other person have a good time too, and when you’re three sheets to the wind it can be hard to live up to certain expectations.
You don’t have to put your beer down to do it.
There’s not much to this one. If you’re having sex, you really don’t want to be spilling beer all over the place. Unless they’re kinky like that, then by all means go for it. But with studying, that book doesn’t give a shit whether you get beer on it or not. You can drink all you want and still study.
If you get tired, you can stop, save your place and pick up where you left off.
There is no way in hell that this is going to happen when you’re having sex. You can’t just be like, “hey uh yeah, let’s just do this tomorrow, same place.” It’s impossible that your partner is going to be on board. That’s the beauty of studying; it doesn’t have feelings or emotions. You can just stop what you’re doing, do something else and then pick up right where you left off and everyone’s happy.
So as you can see, sex sometimes is always not the best option when you’re trying to find yourself and explore new options as a college student. Sit down, pour yourself a cup of coffee, light some candles, put on some Marvin Gaye, and study away my fellow students.