Staff

Staff

Staff Writer

Booze Before Noon: The Podcast
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GVSU Woman Stares Longingly At Butter Knife As Boyfriend Discusses Busted Bracket

Following a March Madness weekend headlined by top overall seed Villanova losing to 8-seed Wisconsin, brackets nationwide are in shambles. GVSU senior Ben Lamont has no chance of winning, as girlfriend Mira Schell well knows. “Do you think if I did it real fast—Like, Bam! Right in the eye!—it’d be quick and painless?” she wondered […]

9 Cal Majors Renamed To Fit What They Actually Are

With 277 degree programs offered, it can be difficult to figure out which major is truly right for you. Worry not, because The Black Sheep sought to fix this dilemma before it happens, by compiling a list of honest names about various majors. So sit back, relax, and get ready to fill up your CalCentral […]

Booze Before Noon Episode 18: Super Hippies and Special Guest Amanda from UConn

We bring Amanda, The Black Sheep UConn's Social Media Manager to talk memes, dads, rats as pets.

UCLA Woman Stares Longingly At Butter Knife As Boyfriend Discusses Busted Bracket

Following a March Madness weekend headlined by top overall seed Villanova losing to 8-seed Wisconsin, brackets nationwide are in shambles. UCLA senior Ben Lamont has no chance of winning, as girlfriend Mira Schell well knows. “Do you think if I did it real fast—Like, Bam! Right in the eye!—it’d be quick and painless?” she wondered aloud […]

Ole Miss Woman Stares Longingly at Butter Knife As Boyfriend Discusses Busted Bracket

Following a March Madness weekend headlined by top overall seed Villanova losing to 8-seed Wisconsin, brackets nationwide are in shambles. Ole Miss senior Ben Lamont has no chance of winning, as girlfriend Mira Schell well knows. “Do you think if I did it real fast—Like, Bam! Right in the eye!—it’d be quick and painless?” she […]

UC Davis Woman Stares Longingly at Butter Knife As Boyfriend Discusses Busted Bracket

It's bad enough that finals are in full swing, let a lone dudes all over campus lamenting their busted brackets.

Boulder Woman Stares Longingly at Butter Knife As Boyfriend Discusses Busted Bracket

CU Boulder senior Ben Lamont has no chance of winning, as girlfriend Mira Schell well knows.

QUIZ: Do You Have the LSU Mumps Or Are You Just Fat?

You may be a little confused on whether or not you have the LSU Mumps. You might feel a bit swollen in the neck and chin area, but you could also be downing those donuts a little too often. If you’ve been to Tigerland lately, you may want to go to a doctor… But if […]

Very Hungover Gopher TOTALLY Remembers Minnesota’s Narrow Defeat to Middle Tennessee

Following yesterday’s nine point defeat over Middle Tennessee, very hungover sophomore Terry Greymartin “totally remembers” the game. “Nate Mason was in the game, definitely,” Greymartin whispered, sipping delicately from his Nalgene bottle. “I remember, he got the ball on the wing and was driving and then Todd asked me to do another shot of Fireball with him. […]

Mizzou Frat Guy Excited To Explain Intricacies Of Bracket Selection To Every Woman He Meets

Following the release of the 2017 NCAA Tournament bracket, Mizzou frat guy Ryan Shillroth is excited to share his bracket strategy with any female that will listen. “See, I chose Duke over Troy in the first round, “ Shillroth said to Tina Melshire, his sometimes-fuck buddy, “because they’re ranked 2nd in their bracket, and Troy […]