Ajay Krishnakumar

Ajay Krishnakumar

QUIZ: Which Slope Day Headliner are you: MisterWives or Big Gigantic?

MisterWives or Big Gigantic? Trump or Hillary? Bremain or Brexit? Macron or LePen? These are the big questions that have plagued the world over the last year or so. Take the quiz and resolve the YUGEST of these questions. Then go cry over how Cornell doesn’t have any decent artists for Slope Day this year.

Cornell Instills New “Anti-Hazing” Campaign by Creating Icy Hot Mascot

Following the removal of Cornell’s oldest and “painfully” prestigious all-male acapella group last week, Cornell University has decided to introduce a mascot to promote awareness about hazing and its effects, in the hopes that this will motivate the student body to squash any action that would bring a negative image to the school. The new […]

Touchdown the Bear Over-Hibernates, Wakes up Late for Cornell’s Pre-Enroll

At 10 a.m.  today, the anguished howls of a very angry bear echoed across campus, jerking students from their miserable, tear-filled, post-pre-enroll reveries. Stirring from his lair beneath the stands of Schoellkopf Field, Touchdown the Bear discovered he had awoken hours late, again, for pre-enroll.Greeted by an Oracle login error page when trying to open […]

6 Awkward Places to Hang your Hammock on Cornell’s Campus

It’s been a long time coming, but spring is finally here! People in hammocks litter the Arts Quad like alcoholics at a wine tasting and before you know it, you’re standing there awkwardly holding a hammock, with nowhere to hang it. So here are some completely wonderful alternatives that have the added advantage of making […]

QUIZ: Do You Belong at Cornell or Should You Have Gone to a “Real Ivy”

Everyone keeps saying Cornell isn’t a real Ivy. Are you a Fake Ivy kinda person? Or are you a Harvard legacy baby? Or just a Brown pile of poo? Take the quiz to find out if you belong at a  “Real Ivy” or Cornell.

Mythical Creatures Upset At Lack of Representation On Cornell’s Dragon Day

As Dragon Day fast approaches, outrage mounts over the systemic discrimination faced by mythical, non-dragon species. Since its inception, Dragon Day has been almost solely about dragons. The vast majority of mythical creatures are excluded from the proceedings– a state of affairs that is the source of much anger and consternation.“When they decided to add […]

Cornell Man Knows, Like, One Gucci Mane Song, Claims to be His Biggest Fan

Resplendent in his totally hardcore fake tattoo sleeves, Derek McGuiness, ’20, is Gucci Mane’s greatest fan. In fact, he loves him more than Hotelies love napkin folding. Derek has been in love with Gucci Mane’s music for an eternity– an eternity which, his only friend tells us, began two weeks ago.When asked what he likes […]