Amanda Pastunink

Amanda Pastunink

Staff Writer

Michigan State University
Should Olin Recognize Senioritis as a Real Disease?

Olin keeps receiving patient cases involving a complete lack of motivation, excessive sleeping, and total dismissal of responsibilities. Is it senioritis?

Mike Pence Still Ill After Nightmare of Self-Empowered Women Descending from Sky Comes True

Vice President Mike Pence has become severely ill after attending a Super Bowl 51 halftime show in which his deep-seated fear of self-empowered women descending from the sky has manifest. Prior to this alleged “nightmare” this past Sunday, veep Mike Pence was reportedly behaving traditionally himself.“He was complaining about that time the Hamilton cast addressed him […]

Spartans Unsatisfied with Walk to Class After Participating in Various Political Marches

A nice, easy walk to class has been part of our daily routine for years. But after walking in local political marches, it seems much less exciting.

7 Things to Say Under the “Record Audio” Button on D2L to Guarantee a 4.0

Why does the D2L dropbox folder have a "Record Audio" button? Who knows! But with these cool one liners, you can “Record Audio” your way to a 4.0.

7 East Lansing Puddles You Wish Your Ex Would Fall Into

Here’s a collection of puddles on MSU’s campus to hopefully lift your spirits as you picture your terrible ex falling face first into them.

Trump to Body Shame Every Rockette at Inauguration

“They’re not hot enough, I know that for sure,” Trump said, loosening his tie.

7 Controversial Ways to Keep Your New Year’s Resolution in East Lansing

We’ve compiled a fresh ‘n’ fun list you can use in East Lansing to get that Spring Break bod, before you can say “jet fuel can’t melt steel beams.”

Sweet Lorraine’s to Be Replaced By Hardass Lorraine’s

Hardass Lorraine’s had its grand opening this past Monday, and its new and improved menu is changing the game for pasta extremists across MSU’s campus.

MSU Student Slips Out of Food Coma and Into Ramen-Filled Depression

“I walked over and found a grown man scrolling through Google Images of Thanksgiving turkeys and crying into his Cup O’ Noodles. Really a shame.”

Trump Forces Starbucks to Split Green Unity Cup into 13 Separate Cups

On November 1st, Starbucks debuted a green “unity” cup, consisting of a mosaic of over a hundred people connected by a single stroke, a metaphor for the community and diversity of our nation. Just eight days later, and to much of the nation’s surprise, Donald J. Trump was elected president of the United States. Now, […]