Stories By Austen Fisher
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Minnesota
What will be different at UMN in 2017?: Find Out What Goldy the Gopher, President Kaler, and A Generic UMN Freshman Have to Say!
“I hope that the enslavement of genetically engineered giant gophers for the sick use of...
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Minnesota
The Day I Met President Kaler
The day I met president Kaler I woke up late for class. I got into...
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Campus Life
Hey Stop Procrastinating, You’re Too Busy to Read This
Congratulations, you rebel. You clicked on something that told you that you were too busy. Way...
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Minnesota
New MSA Intern is Definitely NOT Donald Trump
The 2016 U.S. presidential election has ended and everyone is done talking about it. Political...
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Campus Life
Top 10 Reasons You Should’ve Gone to Community College
Questioning spending thousands of dollars on school? You should’ve tried community college! From free, used needles...
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Minnesota
A Paragraph By Paragraph Guide To Bullshitting Any Paper As A UMN Student
If you’re currently huddled in Walter Library because you waited until the last possible second to...
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Campus Life
Top 10 Fights You’re Gonna Have with Your Parents this Thanksgiving
From disgruntled fathers voicing their opinions to your relationship status, here are 10 fights you’re gonna...
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Campus Life
Top 10 Cancelled Netflix Shows
With so many new shows appearing on Netflix lately, it’s time to pay our respects...
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Minnesota
Top 10 Weirdest One Stop Phone Calls
From fraternity brothers making drunk booty calls at 2 p.m. to a freshman asking One Stop...
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Minnesota
Kaler Bans “We Hate Iowa” Chant in Order to Promote Welcoming, Inclusive U Community
Before last week’s heartbreaking loss to the Iowa Hawkeyes, the University of Minnesota started the...