Ben Ebert

Ben Ebert

Staff Writer

University of Minnesota
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8 Sobering Epiphanies About Things at UMN

There is still something special about epiphanies, when that light bulb goes on in your head and you're aware of how much that statue outside Folwell looks like a dick.

LEAKED: Kaler’s Spring Break Itinerary

We put two and two together and deciphered the napkin to share Kaler’s quintessential plans for spring break 2017

UMN Majors Renamed to Fit What They Actually Are

To avoid wasting four years of your life , here are the honest names for commonly misleading majors at the University of Minnesota.

Donut Showdown: Sssdude-Nutz vs. Tim Hortons

The world has seen the French Revolution and the American Civil War, but now it must endure another war: The War for Dinkytown Donut Dominance.

QUIZ: Which U of M Bar Are You?

Identifying with a bar is difficult, especially considering drunk people have fun no matter where they are.

Tate Hall Being Remodeled into Building for English Students

CSE students will be greatly disappointed to find out that Tate hall is being constructed as a new building for English majors.

6 Most Suitable Valentine’s Dates for Goldy

Everyone deserves a lover for Valentine’s Day, even colossal animals with disproportionate heads and nefarious intentions like Goldy. To help Goldy avoid the humiliation and never-ending loneliness that students are so akin to on Valentine’s Day, we made a list of best potential suiters for our furry friend.   6.) UW-Madison’s Bucky the Badger:  Pros: Goldy […]

Bruininks Hall to Be Renamed Yet Again

Due to the enormous amount of confusion surrounding the name Bruininks Hall, formally known as STSS, the building is once again going to be renamed.

President Kaler to Replace DeVos as Secretary of Education

Betsy DeVos, has been fired from her position after everyone in the universe realized she was as competent as a plastic spork.

Each UMN College as Your Favorite Phallic Shaped Vegetable

University of Minnesota colleges possess traits found in all their students, but these colleges resemble the most unique fruits in the world: eggplants.