Dan Rafuse

Dan Rafuse

Staff Writer

University of Massachusetts
2 Chainz to Convert Sunset Grill Into Lean Shop in Preparation for Spring Concert

2 Chainz has decided to purchase “Sunset Grill and Pizza” and transform it into a premiere lean outlet in honor of his 2011 EP “Codeine Cowboy.”

Environmentally Aware Student Elects To Recycle Last F***

As spring semester and, in turn, the year begin to wind down, students all across the country are running out of ways to care about their academic life. Christopher Davis, a senior environmental science major at the UMass Amherst, thought it would be best to toss his last fuck in the recycling bin and just […]

10 Things That ONLY Happen in the UMass Campus Center

UMass students can all agree that they’ve spent too much time in the waffle-shaped building and have shared some similar experiences.

Curt Schilling’s SO Busy He Had Time to @ Me on Facebook

Curt is a professional internet troll and responds to virtually every troll that disagrees with him. I, Dan Rafuse, was lucky enough to be @'d by Curt.

Are You REALLY a UMass Minuteman or a UNH Bum?

Are you a Minuteman or that oversized cat with a weird name? Is red your color, or that sad navy color?

Sean Hannity: A White House Slumber Party Memoir

The following are entries pulled from my diary (yes, I have a diary, don’t laugh) that I wrote during my very luxurious Trump White House slumber party. Their purpose is to inform you, the little people, that life in rich, white America is far superior to the lives you sad poors lead. I hope you […]

Isenberg Students Remain in Punta Cana to Teach Business to Locals

While most of their peers returned to UMass after spring break, a number of Isenberg students voluntarily stayed behind in Punta Cana, Dominican.

Middle Class Stockpiling Herbal Remedies Following Obamacare Repeal

Recently, doctor-happy individuals whose health insurance plans allowed them to afford frequent visits to physicians for every little tummy ache could walk into any hospital, pay a $20 copay and receive top-notch treatment. Now sick low-income Americans will have to pay outrageous rates to be seen by a doctor when the new Republican-backed American Healthcare […]

Amherst Obituaries: Blarney Blowout 2017

Blarney Blowout died tragically on March 4, 2017 at the hands of university martial law. Blarney will be remembered as the premiere day drink of the year.

Southwest to Become Sanctuary For Dozens Of Party Refugees from Neighboring Campuses

The action is being seen as a response to the administration’s parking and “travel” ban that will be made effective campus wide from March 3rd to 5th.