Dean Paul

Dean Paul

Staff Writer

DePaul University
How to Be a Good DePaul Catholic Over Spring Break

Spring Break is going to tempt you like Eve in the Garden of Eden, so we put together a guide to keep you focused and snake-free.

Esteban and Holtschneider: A Twist of Fates

As an important and reliable news source on campus, we have taken it upon ourselves to share this story that we definitely didn't write.

Coach Leitao’s 6 Extreme Strategies for Recruiting Decent Athletes

Newly inducted President Esteban isn’t a pushover like Holtschneider was, so he’s allowed Coach Leitao to take extreme measures to recruit some actual athletes for DePaul.

Alt-Right Members Begin Kissing Kids in Solidarity with Milo Yiannopoulos

In solidarity with Milo’s “free speech,” alt-righters are aimlessly wandering around their towns looking for children to stare at and maybe kiss a little.

Father Holtschneider’s Post-DePaul Sexual Bucket List

Daddy Holt is finally free with DePaul hiring some heathen to take his place. So what could possibly be less religious than getting some good f*** on?

Please Join DePaul’s New Club: The DePaul Radical Moderate Alliance

A portion of DePaul’s population has yet to be represented by an organization: the moderates. Luckily, these passionately neutral students got together.

Gaining Campus Relevancy for Dummies: A Guide for DePaul Athletes

Take it from us, the most relevant people on campus -- you need to make a sex tape. Or maybe not, but there are a few cheap ways to get people interested!

The SAC is a Bleak Pit of Despair Built To Make Everyone Very Very Sad

There are also a handful of hallways that end with a wall. They built the SAC with those dead ends in order to make students feel helpless.

Is DePaul The Right Choice For You?

The hardest choice you’ll make as a high school senior is where to go to college. So, we have 6 questions to ask yourself before accepting DePaul's bid.

7 Reasons Why The Quarter System Totally Rocks!!

Isn’t it awesome that when other schools have to take federal holidays off we get to go to school? School is cool!