Dean Paul

Dean Paul

Staff Writer

DePaul University
Coach Leitao’s 6 Extreme Strategies for Recruiting Decent Athletes

Newly inducted President Esteban isn’t a pushover like Holtschneider was, so he’s allowed Coach Leitao to take extreme measures to recruit some actual athletes for DePaul.

Alt-Right Members Begin Kissing Kids in Solidarity with Milo Yiannopoulos

In solidarity with Milo’s “free speech,” alt-righters are aimlessly wandering around their towns looking for children to stare at and maybe kiss a little.

Father Holtschneider’s Post-DePaul Sexual Bucket List

Daddy Holt is finally free with DePaul hiring some heathen to take his place. So what could possibly be less religious than getting some good f*** on?

Please Join DePaul’s New Club: The DePaul Radical Moderate Alliance

A portion of DePaul’s population has yet to be represented by an organization: the moderates. Luckily, these passionately neutral students got together.

Gaining Campus Relevancy for Dummies: A Guide for DePaul Athletes

Take it from us, the most relevant people on campus -- you need to make a sex tape. Or maybe not, but there are a few cheap ways to get people interested!

The SAC is a Bleak Pit of Despair Built To Make Everyone Very Very Sad

There are also a handful of hallways that end with a wall. They built the SAC with those dead ends in order to make students feel helpless.

Is DePaul The Right Choice For You?

The hardest choice you’ll make as a high school senior is where to go to college. So, we have 6 questions to ask yourself before accepting DePaul's bid.

7 Reasons Why The Quarter System Totally Rocks!!

Isn’t it awesome that when other schools have to take federal holidays off we get to go to school? School is cool!

4 Ways to Avoid DePaul Debt Besides Death

The tolling of the tuition bill bell is nigh this quarter, and the best way to fight any hindrance is to be proactive.

Bad Smell At Stu Just Stu Worker’s Unwashed, Putrid Asshole

Many people have theories for what that smell in the Stu might be. If you ask us, it’s probably just the putrid, unwashed asshole of that one Stu worker.