Miss Westoff

Miss Westoff

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How To Cyberbully People On Compass 2g

This extremely helpful guide will help you get your revenge by trolling your University of Illinois classmates on Compass2g.

6 Best Ways To Heely Around U of I [With GIFs!]

We can’t guarantee that wearing Heelys will get you laid, but wearing Heely’s will get you laid. They’re a better calf workout than the ARC basement.

Students Protest Illinites For Not Playing The Bee Movie On The Quad

Illinites are renowned as a wholesome alternative to Chambana’s wild bar scene that is totally too cool for any geed to enjoy.

7 Inventions All UIUC Sorority Girls Need

There are many obstacles that your freshly manicured hands have to deal with on a daily basis. We brainstormed a few inventions for you.

We Made a Tinder for the Alma Mater and Here’s What Happened

The Black Sheep decided to make a Tinder profile for the most recognizable babe on campus: our Alma Mater. The certified hottie was a big hit.

Illinois Frat Guy Jerks Off to GreekRank.com Ranking

Steven Manchin, local member of upper-middle tier house Pi Upsilon Kappa, has found a way to blow off steam. When he’s not skipping his communications classes or hazing pledges, you can find him jerking his hot load to GreekRank.com where he scrolls through comments about his house’s hypothetical popularity.“Last week I busted a fat load […]

New Cracked Restaurant Haunted By The Ghost of Antonio’s Past

The owners of Cracked vehemently denies any paranormal activity at their new location. The new store will be open daily for breakfast sandwiches.

QUIZ: What U of I Dorm Did You Lose Your Virginity In?

We bet we can guess which shitty U of I dorm you lost your virginity in with just a few questions. Come on, we all lost in a dorm.

Green Street Papa John’s to Change Name to “Daddy Johns” in Attempt to Reach Youth Culture

The move is just one in a series by the Green Street Papa John’s to attempt to make their pizza more accessible to the “meme generation.”

Tragic: Frat Bro Forgets To Take Pre-Workout Before ARC, Has “Mediocre” Workout

Chuck pounds Creatine pre-workout in a large plastic shaker bottle, so that everyone in his 8 a.m. lecture knows that he works out.