Ellery Nikita

Ellery Nikita

Staff Writer

University of Illinois
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Bartender of the Week: Joe’s Brewery’s Chris

Name: Chris Topalis Twitter Handle: @CTopalis Bar: Joe’s Brewery Relationship Status: Single Major: Financial planning Favorite Drink: Jäger Bombs Favorite Shot: Tequila Disgusting Drink: Vodka Water LimesWhat’s your best tip story since working at Joe’s?: When one of my friends wrote #christopalistopbartender on their receipt (thx Jimmy).What is the craziest thing that’s ever happened in […]

Bartender of the Week: Red Lion’s Solomon

Name: Solomon Dana Twitter Handle: @Solomon_ad11 Bar: The Red Lion Relationship Status: Green Card marriage with Eduardo Tinoco Major: Mechanical engineering Favorite Drink: Whiskey Coke (I’m not a creative man) Favorite Shot: Fireball chased with regret Disgusting Drink: Anything tequila, why that liquid is legal in the US is beyond me.What’s your best tip story […]

Judgmental Map of Red Lion Spring Block

Spring Block is in full force and the Greek community couldn’t be more excited. Study this judgmental map and plan accordingly for Saturday.

Bartender of the Week: Murphy’s Brock

Name: Brock Bar: Murphy’s Relationship Status: Taken Major: Integrative biology Favorite Drink: Straight whiskey Favorite Shot: Jameson Disgusting Drink: MalortWhere’s the best place for a sneaky makeout sesh in Murphy’s?: The bathrooms next to the kitchen.What’s the fanciest booze you got in Murphy’s if we wanted to impress a date?: Malibu.   What’s the best […]

Bartender of the Week: Brother’s Sindi

Name: Sindi Twitter Handle: @SapidSindi Bar: Brother’s Relationship Status: *Endless laughter* Major: Philosophy  Favorite Drink: Jameson and ginger ale  Favorite Shot: Jolly Rancher Disgusting Drink: Well tequila, ‘cause you should love yourself.   Where’s the best place for a sneaky makeout sesh in Brother’s?: Pretty much anywhere, in front of the bar is my favorite.What’s […]

The Definitive Timeline Of A Typical UIUC Student’s Life

There’s no shortage of memories as an Illinois student, but there are some things you’d rather forget. Fortunately, almost all students have molded their entire college experience doing the exact same things. This timeline is here to remind everyone of the things they may or may not want to forget.

Bartender of the Week: Kam’s Kelley

Name: Kelley Bar: KAM’s Relationship Status: Single and ready to mingle Major: Advertising Favorite Drink: The lonely island lost in the middle of a foggy sea Favorite Shot: Tequila Disgusting Drink: Whiskey Coke   Which meme would you most what to serve in KAM’s? Why?: The Salt Guy, because that guy’s awesome and it would […]

Bartender of the Week: Joe’s Brewery’s Tommy

Name: Tommy Bar: Joe’s Relationship Status: Single Major: Environmental science Favorite Drink: Corona and Lime Favorite Shot: Buttery Nipple Disgusting Drink: Bloody MaryWhich meme would you most what to serve in Joe’s? Why?: Biden/Obama, because I haven’t seen a stronger bromance since Nate D’Onofrio and Phil Olszewski.What’s the biggest difference between a guy and a […]

Trump Fires Attorney General on First Episode of The Political Apprentice

Americans rejoice as Donald Trump announces that Attorney General, Sally Yates, is the first to be fired on the re-boot of The Apprentice, titled The Political Apprentice. Viewers later took to Facebook to show support for their hero. “This Yates character, woo-whee, I couldn’t take another minute’a her. She’s not even a looker, ya know what […]

PC Student Wants to Rename Chinese New Year “Asian American New Year”

White Northwestern University college of liberal arts student Kip Johnson is awaiting justice for Asians this year in the celebration of Chinese New Year.“The Asian American community has suffered long enough! They want change, and I know this because I took a course on race and ethics last semester,” Johnson explained as he colored his […]