Jake Wirth

Jake Wirth

Staff Writer

DePaul University
Renounce St. Vincent and Accept the Dark Lord Satan into Your Cold Dead Heart This Winter

We’re not talking about the warm love of Jesus Christ. In fact, we recommend you choose the opposite by cozying up with the Dark Lord Satan.

10 Ways DePaul Has Let You Down Over the Years

DePaul is like the Six Flags of college, with equal risk of decapitation. Here are the ten times DePaul really let you down.

The Depaul Matrix of Sexy and Naughty

We took it upon ourselves to rank some of your favorite Vincentians based on a Sexy/Ugly-Naughty/Nice matrix. Plz print it out for reference.

Top 10 Excuses to Skip Week 10 Classes

Congrats nerd, your impressive feat has earned you a couple days off because why stress about finals when you could be relaxin’?

Blue Demon Semen Report: Taking a Black Light to DePaul Hotspots

Shocking and repulsive claims led us to do something none of us ever wanted to do... an investigative report on the semen levels at DePaul.

10 Signs Your Multiculturalism Professor Wants You

Every guy in your class likes your professor and they all wonder what it will take to score a date with her.

Top 5 Holtschneider Replacement Picks

In case you forgot, Father Holty is getting the boot, and DePaul has been avidly searching for his replacement hoping they find the right fit.

Skip the Stu: Try these Depaul Dorm-Friendly Dinners Instead!

Sure, you could go and explore the endless restaurants that Chicago has to offer, but you're ballin' on a budget.

10 Fresh Hells Freshmen Will Soon Discover at DePaul

If you think that sucks well you might be in for a surprise, DePaul isn't all the glitter and gold from the brochure.

Top 10 Ways To Improve Your CTA Commute

News flash: The CTA is so bad that conventional methods of improving your commute just won't work.