Harambe Joe

Harambe Joe

Chief Campus Editor

Michigan State University
An Obituary for Michigan State’s Class of 2017

We reflect on their lives, for they will soon come to realize that it’s time to be adults, meaning which is dangerously close to having no life at all.

Harbaugh Takes Religious Pilgrimage to the Vatican to Recruit Jesus

After the departure of Jabrill Peppers, U of M has been looking to recruit a good linebacker to fill his shoes.

QUIZ: What Major Are You Switching to Now That You Failed Orgo?

The world is intentionally trying to fuck you by making you retake Organic Chemistry…again. Fortunately, there’s an out: change your major! But to what?

Breaking News: The MSU Dairy Store Makes More Than Ice Cream

Baffling news was announced today as a source exposed a secret regarding the Michigan State Dairy Store. The supposedly has a bit more than ice cream.

Visiting Mother Bombarded with Socks During Spartans Vs. Zombies

The mother of four went to visit her son before Easter weekend when she was bombarded by the students partaking in Spartans Vs. Zombies.

QUIZ: What East Lansing Pizza Place Are You?

We don’t care who you are, you like pizza. Whether you have a billion toppings, cheese because you’re one of those weird-ass vegetarian people, or you have classic pepperoni, you love that gooey clusterfuck. And there are an overwhelming amount of clusterfuckerias around East Lansing! Y’know ‘em. Y’love ‘em. Now it’s time to find out […]

Blazed Guy Waits In Line for Free Munchies, Sober By the Time He Gets the Pizza

A MSU student had emotions ablazin’ Tuesday when Blaze Pizza took a little bit more than 180 seconds to make his ‘za after his mid-day mary jane.

Tomi Lahren to Work at Blaze Pizza After Being Suspended from “The Blaze”

After being suspended from her segment on The Blaze, Tomi Lahren found a new job in what appears to be a similar field: East Lansing's Blaze Pizza.

Sports Experts Say MSU Can’t Lose to Middle Tennessee State This Year

A bracket expert has come to the conclusion that MSU probably won’t lose to Middle Tennessee State University during this year's March Madness tournament.

Kinesiology Wins MSU Marathon of Majors; Forensics Comes in Dead Last

Kinesiology majors rejoiced as they crossed the finish line in first place at the recent “Marathon of Majors.”