Kelly Weaver

Kelly Weaver

QUIZ: Why Are You Penn State’s Worst Freshman Roommate?

All may seem well now, but find out what you’ll do to eventually tick off your freshman roommate in the next sixteen weeks.

7 PSU Places to Break Down in Preparation for Finals Week

It’s that time of the semester again. Checking Canvas and Angel is nauseating, procrastination is becoming less of an option, and you’re feeling a sense of impending doom. Lucky for you, there are plenty of places around campus for you to sob, yell, throw your laptop, and whatever else you’d like to do for the […]

Hungover Penn Stater Rises From the Dead Easter Sunday

A miracle occurred this past weekend for James Christian. “Last thing I remember I was playing beer pong Friday night. Then it was Sunday morning,” Christian described. Christian’s twelve closest friends witnessed the event in awe. “He took every shot on Friday like a champ,” his pal Andrew recalled fondly. “James was a hit among […]

Breaking! The Willard Preacher Moves Downtown

Traditionally spouting Christian wisdom before the steps of the Willard Building, the Willard Preacher is extending his services to College and Beaver Avenues on the weekends. “The good Lord doesn’t work Monday through Friday nine-to-five, and neither should I,” the Preacher explained.After experiencing the new-and-improved Preacher this past weekend, the student body had a mixed response. […]

QUIZ: Where In State College Should You Go For a Broke Date?

The Spring semester is almost over. You’ve spent whatever cash you had on a spring break trip to Mexico, and your motivation is essentially nonexistent. This is not the time for some romantic meal at Zola’s or Cozy Thai. Now is the time to settle for sub-par dates, and this quiz is here to tell […]

BREAKING: Sober Student Eats Canyon Pizza

An astonishing discovery was made this past week when Penn State student Connor Gregson was found eating Canyon Pizza without the assistance of alcohol. “I tried it sober once and loved it. Pizza is pizza, man,” explained Gregson as he waited for a slice in broad daylight. To the rest of the student body, Gregson’s […]

PSU Dining Halls Retaliate Against the Evils of Sled Trays

Last Tuesday’s snowstorm brought with it the great joy that is a snow day. The rare occasion called for students like Seth Thomas to take advantage by turning dining hall trays into makeshift sleds. “It’s simple really: you get some food for energy, steal a tray, and head to the nearest slope. This is the […]

The Internal Dialogue of a Penn State Student Suffering Through a Run

If last week compared to this week has taught us anything, 60-degree days during the typically frigid Pennsylvania winter beg for you to take advantage of the unseasonably nice weather. Foolishly, you take this to mean lacing up your sneakers for a run exploring Dear Old State. As you pass the IT Bridge, Old Main, […]