Kynzie Watahomigie

Kynzie Watahomigie

Staff Writer

Cornell
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7 Valentine’s Day Cards for Cornellians to Give to That Special Someone

  You’re a Cornellian, which means your beautiful and unique. You’re special enough to get into an Ivy, but not quite special enough to get into one of the good ones. But…you’re better than Penn! In that spirit, celebrate today’s love with some cards only another Big, Throbbing Red could love.    It’s so high on […]

BREAKING: Cornell Will Name Anything After You if You Give Them Enough Money

As per tradition, Cornell University is more than accepting of donated funds from generous donors who are “totally not doing it to get a building named after themselves.”“I donated $300,000,000 to the research of stickers on stop signs and the improvement of crappy bus apps. I don’t know what Cornell will use this money for […]

Cornell Students Debate Which Classes to Drop So Fishbowl Wednesdays Not Impacted

Students at Cornell have until February 8th to determine which classes to keep in their schedules (GPA boosters) and which classes to drop and take again next year (classes that have prelims directly after spring break.)“Yeah, I was going to stay in Intro to microeconomics but then I found out that it was going to […]

7 Things Cornell Students ARE and AREN’T Excited About Returning for Spring Semester

Winter break: the time to disappoint family by admitting your GPA, zero responsibilities, and having fun, is up. Here is what we are and are not excited to return to at Cornell in the spring semester.7.) No One Wants to Get Back to Work: A month of laying on the couch binge watching every TV […]

Cornell Student New Year’s Resolutions Hit All-Time Low

After a productive fall semester of prelims, studying, and crying, Cornell students have quickly begun the revolution against their own terrible habits by formulating their New Year’s resolutions.“I’m sick of failing prelims because the person grading can’t read my answers,” states senior Andy “Leaky Pipe” Hayes, “every time I go to take a prelim my […]

6 Things We Won’t Miss About Cornell During Winter Break

Winter break is knocking on your door. Here we have compiled a list of things you will NOT miss about Cornell over the break.