Kynzie Watahomigie

Kynzie Watahomigie

Staff Writer

A Quick Summer Workout Plan for Cornellians Chasing the TCAT Bus  

...if you aren’t about to risk missing the bus next semester because you aren’t ready to run fast, then here is how to train like a pro this summer.

6 Excuses to Use When Your Mom Asks Why You Aren’t Dating Anyone

The summer break arrives with sweaty armpit stains, melting ice-cream, third-degree sunburns, and reuniting with the one person who watched you be a...

Cornell Students Determined to Not Allow “Getting Trashed” on Slope Day Interfere With Studying for Finals

On Thursday, May 11, Cornellians will be waking up as early as 8 a.m. to go and celebrate the end of spring semester classes. Known as “Slope Day,” this school-wide festivity is generally associated with drunken college students listening to music and enjoying a day of fun right before their rigorous finals.“I’m going to be […]

6 Things That Are NOT Worth Your Cornell Degree

As finals quickly sneak up on unsuspecting Cornellians, the stress and sleep deprivation push these students to fall into a deep existential crisis that inevitably ends with them calling Domino’s — #3 on speed dial. Many questions, even fewer answers. What is this all about? Why am I here? Is my degree really going to […]

Cornell’s 10 Best Walk of Shame Routes

2 weeks left of class and you finally got laid. But now it’s morning and you don’t know how to get home. Thankfully, we have 10 routes ‘round Ithaca to get you home on that walk of shame.Route 10: This route isn’t ideal for a person who is hungover, however, it is ideal if you […]

6 Places You Are Guaranteed to Find Cornell Prefrosh During Cornell Days

Cornell Days are in full swing and the sidewalks are flowing with prospective students touring the Ivy streets of Cornell University. Although nearly everything on Cornell’s campus is historical, famous, or expensive, these are the top-tier locations you are sure to find a plethora of prefrosh unenthusiastically posing for another picture for their mom’s Facebook. […]

7 Ways to Completely Piss Off Any Cornell Student

A school as diverse as Cornell brings students from all over the world to share ideas and debate about what they disagree with. Although the diversity is something to brag about, all Cornell students agree that these things will drive anyone whose blood bleeds Big Red very, very crazy.7.) Ask “Is Cornell Even a Real […]

Cornell Tour Guides Cheerfully Distract Prospective Students From Downsides Of Admission

With the Ivy League decisions fast approaching Cornell University has seen a steady increase of prospective and future students excited to see what Cornell and Ithaca have to offer them.“I’m so into Cornell. I totes belong here,” says SoCal resident Cindy Mars as she wears a coat for the first time in her life, “I […]

Cornell University Allows Students to Battle the Blizzard for as Long as Possible Before Finally Closing

Winter Storm Stella has hit Ithaca, and although the conditions are severe Cornell University refused to close until the last possible second. The campus is expecting to get anything from 14 to 24 inches of snow.“I don’t want to venture out into the tundra, but if I don’t get my attendance points then my grade […]

Slope Day Headliners Prompt Angry Reactions from Cornell Students

On March 9, 2017 the surprise artists performing at Slope Day 2017 year were announced after months of anticipation, but to much disappointment. The headliners will include Misterwives, and Big Gigantic, joined by S’natra, and Basstracks.“Yesterday we were served our usual dish of huge fucking disappointment,” cried senior Amanda Green, “I’ve been here for four […]