It’s been two days since you drove home for the summer and you’ve already screwed your old high schoolteacher Mr. Peterwater. You couldn’t help it; everyone knows this guy is the town’s salt-and-pepper stud. Here are step-by-step instructions we knew you’d need to recover from your silver-foxed frenzy.First Things First- Don’t Wake Up His Kids: […]
With “Unicorn” announced as the newest flavor in Starbucks’ line of Frappuccinos, area man Ken Stephenson is marginally perturbed.43-year-old office manager Stephenson has disclosed his discontent with the pink-dusted beverage to The Black Sheep reporters, divulging his uneasiness with sprinkles, edible glitter, the color pink, and governmental affairs.“Never have I once thought, ‘I wonder what […]
If you’ve ever wanted to create an official government agency but have been limited by your lack of governmental experience, position in an unrelated career path, or the fact that you’re a family member of the once-relatively unimportant business mogul and reality TV star Donald Trump, then 2017 might be your time to shine. Take […]
The Black Sheep got an exclusive, inside scoop on the overall vibe of Tallanasty last week by interviewing multiple people.
On Wednesday, Netflix released a trailer for an upcoming documentary-horror film based on behind-the-scenes footage and interviews from Wednesday, when Trump “surprised” a tour group of schoolchildren. The footage implies that the scene that went viral was not as innocent as it seemed. Talking head segments from the children who were in it reveal that the […]
In light of recent attention Betsy DeVos received for a cartoonist’s depiction of her, the Secretary of Education has taken it upon herself to profit off of painted self-portraits. However, many have noticed that the portraits closely resemble those of famous feminist artist Frida Kahlo.“Oh, I saw the parallels to Frida Kahlo’s paintings right away,” […]
President of FSU College Republicans James Fletcher Dilmore has been suspended on multiple accounts of embezzlement and sexual harassment. As a result...
On Thursday afternoon, Trump Organization trustee and rumored United States Cabinet member Eric Trump mistakenly erased all of the pictures, policies, and campaigns from that Black guy and political figurehead he kinda recognized on his dad’s cool new website.“I would like to issue a formal apology for my minor mistake,” said Eric Trump on the […]
At FSU, the way you spent your first weekend of spring semester says a lot about you. So does your freshman dorm. In fact, the two are pretty much parallel
Dr. Jeffery Carlack of American University emailed out a four-page study guide to his students last week, but due to his soft spot and unwillingness to grade 150 exams, he has decided to screen Planet of the Apes during class on the day of the supposed test. The idea came to Carlack after he saw […]