Lauren Olster

Lauren Olster

Chief Campus Editor

Florida State University
The 7 Hells of Pembroke Pines, Florida

From Publix to Publix, Pembroke Pines seems like the perfect place to live to outsiders. But for those of you who grew up in the SoFlo town...

10 Things to Do While Katy Perry is Woke but Not Awake

“I’m wide awake… NOT!” That should be the name of Katy’s next song. For those of you who live under an Internet-less rock, Katy Perry has been live-stream..

So You F***ed Your Old High School Teacher. Now What?

It’s been two days since you drove home for the summer and you’ve already screwed your old high schoolteacher Mr. Peterwater. You couldn’t help it; everyone knows this guy is the town’s salt-and-pepper stud. Here are step-by-step instructions we knew you’d need to recover from your silver-foxed frenzy.First Things First- Don’t Wake Up His Kids: […]

Starbucks’ Unicorn Frappuccino A Little Too Much for Area Man

With “Unicorn” announced as the newest flavor in Starbucks’ line of Frappuccinos, area man Ken Stephenson is marginally perturbed.43-year-old office manager Stephenson has disclosed his discontent with the pink-dusted beverage to The Black Sheep reporters, divulging his uneasiness with sprinkles, edible glitter, the color pink, and governmental affairs.“Never have I once thought, ‘I wonder what […]

QUIZ: What New National Department Will YOU Create?

If you’ve ever wanted to create an official government agency but have been limited by your lack of governmental experience, position in an unrelated career path, or the fact that you’re a family member of the once-relatively unimportant business mogul and reality TV star Donald Trump, then 2017 might be your time to shine. Take […]

We Interviewed FSU Students in Tallahassee During Spring Break. Here’s What They Said!

The Black Sheep got an exclusive, inside scoop on the overall vibe of Tallanasty last week by interviewing multiple people.

Netflix Unveils Trailer for New Docuhorror Exposing Trump Meet-and-Greet

On Wednesday, Netflix released a trailer for an upcoming documentary-horror film based on behind-the-scenes footage and interviews from Wednesday, when Trump “surprised” a tour group of schoolchildren. The footage implies that the scene that went viral was not as innocent as it seemed.  Talking head segments from the children who were in it reveal that the […]

Betsy DeVos Sells Reimagined Frida Kahlo Portraits

In light of recent attention Betsy DeVos received for a cartoonist’s depiction of her, the Secretary of Education has taken it upon herself to profit off of painted self-portraits. However, many have noticed that the portraits closely resemble those of famous feminist artist Frida Kahlo.“Oh, I saw the parallels to Frida Kahlo’s paintings right away,” […]

James Fletcher Dilmore Benched from First Half of Next Home Game

President of FSU College Republicans James Fletcher Dilmore has been suspended on multiple accounts of embezzlement and sexual harassment. As a result...

Eric Trump Accidentally Deletes That Black Guy’s Stuff off His Dad’s Website

On Thursday afternoon, Trump Organization trustee and rumored United States Cabinet member Eric Trump mistakenly erased all of the pictures, policies, and campaigns from that Black guy and political figurehead he kinda recognized on his dad’s cool new website.“I would like to issue a formal apology for my minor mistake,” said Eric Trump on the […]