Original Pancake

Original Pancake

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Should Y’all Hang Out at the Local Bar or Drink in Someone’s Basement?

This week, two of our writers argue over the age-old dilemma: should you and your hometown friends hang out at the local bar or drink in one of your basements?

P/CP: Should You Use Bumble or Tinder for Your Hometown Hookups?

Which app should you use to find your hometown hookup? This week, two of our writers argued over which app is king: Bumble or Tinder.

Top Sorority Girl Furious Naperville Bar Won’t Let Her Skip the Line Because She’s Hot

This past Monday night outside of Bar Louie in downtown Naperville, a commotion took place. The police were called to the scene by Kelsey Stamer, a Delta Delta Delta ‘19, and the cause of the commotion.“Hello, police?” shrieked Stamer on the 9-1-1 call recording. “It’s me, the hot blonde girl with the only good spray […]

PCP: Should Nick Offerman or Barack Obama Have Been The UIUC Commencement Speaker?

It’s graduation season and Champaign is abuzz with excitement. This year students hope the commencement speaker, Nick Offerman, drops some knowledge on the unemployed graduates. The announcement came after a failed year-long campaign to get our most recent Commander-In-Chief, President Barack Obama, to speak at graduation. This week, the editors argue over whether Nick Offerman […]

UIUC To Cancel Commencement and Hold University-Wide Initiation Into The Real World

This past Saturday, University of Illinois chancellor Robert J. Jones announced a major change to this year’s Class of 2017 Commencement Ceremony.“The University of Illinois boasts a large Greek community on campus. In fact, I just came from a fraternity philanthropy. Boy do they know how to have a good time!” Jones slurred suspiciously, wearing […]

13 Things Around Champaign to Get Your Grubby Hands On Before You Leave

You’re weeks away from graduation, so it’s time to start stocking up on things that could come in handy in your new *shudder* adult life. After the university stole hundreds of thousands of dollars in tuition from you, not to mention your happiness, the least you can do is take back some of what is […]

Blueberry’s One Night Stand At KAM’s To Save Penguin Species From Extinction

This Friday, Blueberry the South African penguin will be coming all the way from the Newport Aquarium in Kentucky to make his annual visit to KAM’s.

7 Ways To Piss Off Any UIUC Student

You know what really grinds U of I students’ gears? Since our parents aren’t here to remind us that “children are starving in Africa, Becky,” a whole lot of trivial things. Whether you’re a naïve freshman or a disgruntled senior who’s one dropped i>Clicker away from burning Foellinger to the ground, here are 7 ways […]

QUIZ: Do You Really Belong At UIUC Or Are You Just ISU Trash?

Do you find yourself attending MNJ’s a little too frequently? Are you dumber than a doorknob? You probably feel like you belong on U of I’s beautiful, superior campus, but it’s time to face the music: maybe you are more of a lowly Redbird than a… Chief? Squirrel? Nothing? We need a new mascot. Anyway, […]

Top 7 Bathrooms On U of I’s Campus For DIY Glory Holes

There’s nothing like DIY glory holes to spice up your academic-oriented life. Is it legal? Probably not. Is it worth the majestic and mysterious load you’re about to swallow in the UGL bathroom during a study break? Probably not. As your resident sexperts who are definitely NOT virgins, The Black Sheep took it upon ourselves […]