Mariah Micallef

Mariah Micallef

5 Places On Campus To Sneak A Drink After Grand Prix

Didn’t get your hangover fix during Grand Prix? Were you not able to get on the “list” for any of those exclusive frat parties? Do you have some deep-seated self-hatred issues that only alcohol can straighten out? Now that the parties are over and the cool kids are all sleeping it off, here’s where you […]

Purdue Still Trying To Make Grand Prix Relevant As Boilermakers Plan To Flock To Bloomington For Little 5 Instead

As Grand Prix week blows full-steam ahead, Purdue students are planning to celebrate Grand Prix with the most Boilermaker pride they have by making the 2-hour drive down to Bloomington, Indiana, snorting Adderall along the way.“I mean, yeah, Grand Prix is cool,” says Connor Hoosier, Phd (Party hard dude). “But, like, the ratio of hard […]

Purdue Campus Ranked Number 1 for “Most Likely to Randomly Smell Like S*** At Odd Times of Day”

The polls are in, and after a thorough investigation including a celebrity panel of judges and a grueling, much-awaited deciding time of 18 hours, Purdue has been ranked #1 for “Most Likely to Randomly Smell Like Shit at Odd Times of Day” in the national list of “Campus Quirks.”Jack Auf, founder of the “Campus Quirks” […]

Purdue Honors Student Horrified To Find Out That An Honors Diploma Really Isn’t That Different From A Regular Diploma

Tragedy struck yesterday as a Purdue Honors Student came to the startling realization that his 4-year involvement in the Honors College program really hasn’t done much for him except earn him the reputation of a pretentious asshat.“All these years sitting in my HONR classes, I thought I was the most special guy on campus,” senior […]