Michael Agnello

Michael Agnello

Staff Writer

University of Massachusetts
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Ranking the Sexiness of UMass Basketball Players by Name Only

So, to familiarize the student body with our best sports team’s looks, we’re ranking each player’s sexiness solely based on their name. That’s fun, right?

Top 10 Best Places To Hide Your UMass Dorm Room Booze

Worried about boozin’ it up before your engineering lecture in Marston? Never fear, we’ve found the best locations to hide your stash from your RA.

UMass “Shit-In” Protesters Unveil Their Real Demands

Now that the GLU has national attention, they want to pursue their real demands; the ones that led them to title the protest a “Shit-in” in the first place.

If UMass Colleges Were Snapchat Filters

Speaking of dick-pics, here’s what UMass colleges would look like as Snapchat filters.

Non-Stop Service from Haigis Mall to Montreal to Begin Following Trump’s Victory

In the wake of Donald Trump’s stunning presidential victory, Peter Pan Bus Lines have opened non-stop service from Haigis Mall to Montreal, Québec.

6 Lame Excuses for Not Voting that will Drive Sam the Minuteman Mad

Happy Election Day! History will be made today; the first woman president will be elected, or the first non-politician elected to the highest political office in the country. But for some reason, there are many UMass students who feel voting is pointless. Well, beware, because if you use any of these excuses or something similar, […]

Lobster Lives Matter: Larry the Lobster Condemns UMass Dining after Halloween Dinner

Larry the Lobster from the popular Nickelodeon show Spongebob Squarepants, has organized a protest against UMass Dining.

From the Streets: Is Your Mom a Trick or a Treat?

Halloween is coming up, and while your mom probably wishes you were at home trick-or-treating for candy, you'll probably be in search of free booze.

From the Streets: Which Childhood Cartoon Icon Do You Most Want to Have a Sloppy, Drunken, Makeout-Sesh With? Why?

Remember Saturday mornings when you used to sit on your ass watching your favorite cartoon, and dreaming of which one of them you wanted to make-out with?

Clay Buchholz Look Alike Found Asleep Near Haigis Mall

Some said to look "an awful lot" like Clay Buchholz, Red Sox starting pitcher, was found asleep this morning in the grassy area of Haigis Mall.