Stories By Miguel Quinones
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Illinois
UIUC Fat Shaming Agenda Revealed By New Skinny Sidewalk On Sixth & Gregory
A shocking report from earlier this week revealed that UIUC is implementing a new campus-wide initiative...
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Illinois
October Lovers Lobbying The University To Be More October-y
New research has found that the amount of people who signed up for October Lovers their...
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Illinois
Chivalry ISN’T Dead: Dude Pays For Hookup’s VeoRide Back Home
The past few years it has been speculated that chivalry is dead and gone in Chambana....
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Illinois
Sellout: Morrow Plots Opened For Barn Dance By University
The university has taken a bold step in solidifying its self-proclaimed status as “Littyville” by designating...
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Illinois
With Altgeld Renovations Complete, Bell Tower Will Now Only Play ‘Lo-Fi Chill Hip Hop Beats To Study/Relax To’
You may have noticed that the sounds of “Lo-Fi Chill Hip Hop Beats To Study/Relax To”...
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Illinois
We Ranked These 6 UIUC Locations, From Small To Big Dick Energy
Since arriving at UIUC, you’ve probably noticed that penetrating sensation of grandeur and clout. What you’re...
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Illinois
8 Ways To Play Off Being Left Behind By The MTD
It’s a dog-eat-dog world out here in C-U. Sometimes you take advantage of the free bus...
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Illinois
Washed-Up Frat Star Asked To Leave House Immediately For Falling ‘Chill-To-Pull Ratio’
The current residents of Kappa Chi fraternity have sought legal action to remove washed-up frat star...
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Illinois
Suburban Dad Invests In Chastity Belt For Incoming UIUC Freshman
With the new school year approaching, an obsolete method of contraception seen as depraved and sexist...
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Illinois
PCP: Does Living in C-U Over Summer Actually Suck That Bad?
Champaign-Urbana is a quaint metropolitan area for undergrads escaping a mediocre home life. The question is,...