Patch Boomhauer

Patch Boomhauer

Staff Writer

University of Minnesota
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6 Things at UMN With Indeterminate Purpose

The sheer size of campus means that there are bound to be some mysterious things that you'd otherwise pass by and never really think about why they exist.

6 Walks to Take After Your Roommate Kicks You Out

So your roommate brought home a "friend" and kicked you out for a couple hours? Here are the 6 best walks to take while you're waiting to be let back inside

7 Hells of Rochester, Minnesota

Rochester, Minnesota might seem like an idyllic town, but it comes with its own unique circles of hell for every resident.

Campus Grows Uneasy as New Construction Starts Looking More and More Like Moos

With the construction by Moos Tower making some semblance of progress, some students have become apprehensive about the finished product.

The 6 Best UMN Intersections to Get Hit by a Car and Escape Student Debt

If you haven’t entertained the thought of “accidentally” getting hit by a car for tuition money, you’re a fraud.

7 Times You’d Totally Take the L to be Back at UMN

Alas, the school year has ended and you’ve had to go back to your boring summer life. At some point you’re going to start hankering for your incrementally more enjoyable life in the land of maroon and gold, even if that also means staying up way too late worrying about your post-grad life or falling […]

Top 10 Things to Do Your Last Week On Campus

You made it! Somehow, after all the crying nights and tequila shots, it’s your last night on campus. Don’t just sit around and reflect on what you’ve learned or tell your friends how grateful you are for them. You want your last night here to be memorable, so get out on campus and fuck shit […]

UMN Hipster Still Smug About Not Attending Spring Jam

“I stayed in, played video games, and listened to my incredibly expansive and cultured music collection,” Jenson said.

6 Way Better Things to Buy at the U Than a Ticket to Spring Jam

If you’re a bit confused over why people are so excited about Spring Jam, don’t worry. Day drinking and artists with symbols in their names aren’t for everyone. If you think your $25 would be better spent somewhere else, peep this list for some inspiration. 6.) Minnesota Orchestra Ticket: If you’d rather spend your time […]

QUIZ: Do you REALLY Belong at UMN, or Are You a Filthy Badger?

Choose your answers carefully, since your outcome says more about you than any personality test could.