Stories By Patch Boomhauer
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Minnesota
We Infiltrated The Mayo Building and Got More Than We Bargained For
If you look up “complete mess” in the dictionary, there will be a floor plan of...
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Minnesota
Recovered Log Entries from Dental Student Trapped in Gopher Way for 10 Hours
The following log entries have been recovered from what seems to have been a distressed dental...
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Minnesota
6 Best Places to Fart at the U (Because It Already Smells Like Farts)
There are some spots at the U that don’t smell of roses. And after you’ve eaten a...
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Minnesota
Top 10 Cookie Shapes Guaranteed to Turn On Any Gopher
Everyone likes cookies, but the classic Valentine’s Day heart shape gets a little old, don’t you...
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Minnesota
6 Other Catastrophic Events the U Still Wouldn’t Close for
As of late, campus has been in the thick of some interesting events that probably should...
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Minnesota
Transport System Just as Mediocre as LRT to Temporarily Run during Super Bowl
University Parking and Transportation Services has announced its new UMN light rail system is up and running....
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Minnesota
A Drunk Interpretation of UMN Campus Art
UMN’s campus is beautiful, and the art sells the aesthetic even more. Most of the time....
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Minnesota
To the Clueless Freshman Still Standing in the Middle of the Light Rail Tracks
Dear Clueless Freshman, You may have heard that college is a surreal purgatory before actual adulthood....
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Minnesota
UMN Student to Release Months of Pent-Up Rage on Teaching Evaluation
Hannah Sparkton, a CBS freshman, is looking forward to tearing her chemistry professor a new one...
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Minnesota
QUIZ: Which UMN Library Should You Pull an All-Nighter at?
Finals week is almost here, which means you have to decide where and when to best...