Sam Clark

Sam Clark

Staff Writer

Florida State University
FSU Student Becomes Immortal After Winning Relay For Life

In a shocking chain of events, local Florida State student Allegra Jones managed to become immortal after “winning” the Relay for Life this weekend

Desperate FSU Alerts Double Texts Students

Thursday afternoon, students across campus received multiple text messages from Florida State’s emergency alert system, warning them that there may be...

Man Who Can’t Pronounce “Gentrification” Announces Student Housing in French Town 

To almost no one’s surprise, the city of Tallahassee voted to continue destroying cool things with history and culture at a recent commissioners' meeting...

Student Mistakes an Evening With Barry Jenkins For an Evening With Leeroy Jenkins

  This past Friday, Oscar winning director and writer Barry Jenkins returned to his alma matter to speak with Florida State students about his time in Tallahassee, what post-Oscar life was like, and why Fat Sandwich reigns supreme. However, for one student, the experience was confusing and disappointing. “I really got my hopes up today, […]

Tallahassee Collectively Time Travels, Wakes Up at We the Kings Concert

In a shocking turn of events, the entire town of Tallahassee fell into a black hole that sent the town spiraling back into the past- a past where We the Kings was still a band that people wanted to see.   The black hole, which started on the dance floor of Potbelly’s and worked its […]

Tennessee St. Gumby’s Temporarily Closes After Learning Roaches Aren’t a Pizza Topping

Surprising drunk college students everywhere, Gumby’s Pizza on Tennessee Street has temporarily closed their doors, leaving local underage alcoholics...

Jonathan Isaac Attends FSU Women’s Tournament After Not Showing Up to Men’s

According to sources close to The Black Sheep, Florida State freshman forward Jonathan Isaac was spotted attending the FSU women’s basketball game against