Sam Clark

Sam Clark

Staff Writer

Florida State University
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Large Black Hole to Replace Tallahassee’s Coliseum

Coliseum is set to close this Saturday, marking the last opportunity for sweaty strangers to barely understand each other over the deafening roar of music.

7 Cardboard Cut-Outs to Put in Your Roommate’s Room to Make You Feel Less Alone This Summer

Let’s start tossing some frigging cardboard cut-outs up in your roommate's room so you feel like you still have friends with six more weeks of summer left.

7 Hells of West Palm Beach, Florida

If Hell is hot, it’s a wet, humid heat like the damp air that sticks to your skin in every moment you’re alive while in South Florida.

Recently-Suspended ZBT Now “Recruiting” Outside Mike’s Beer Barn

Witnesses on the scene described older looking gentlemen approaching underage residents, offering to buy them booze, and then asking if they enjoyed fun activities like seeing who can hold their breath the longest in a tub of pudding or racing their friends on Razor scooters to Potbelly’s.

FSU Student Vaporizes into Thin Air After Especially Hot Walk Across Landis Green

Temperatures have been soaring into the high 90’s in recent weeks evidenced by the uptick in jorts and orientation groups that just won’t get the eff out of the way, but few saw this coming.

7 Things to Do with a Half-Empty Smith Hall

Summer is finally upon us, and so are the normal summertime Tallahassee activities. It sucks you’re still stuck in Tallahassee instead of crushing some Mike’s Hard and enjoying your grandparents’ above-ground pool, but don’t fret! The empty space in all the dormitories is screaming your name! What would your parents think of all that lost […]

FSU Student Becomes Immortal After Winning Relay For Life

In a shocking chain of events, local Florida State student Allegra Jones managed to become immortal after “winning” the Relay for Life this weekend

Desperate FSU Alerts Double Texts Students

Thursday afternoon, students across campus received multiple text messages from Florida State’s emergency alert system, warning them that there may be...

Man Who Can’t Pronounce “Gentrification” Announces Student Housing in French Town 

To almost no one’s surprise, the city of Tallahassee voted to continue destroying cool things with history and culture at a recent commissioners' meeting...

Student Mistakes an Evening With Barry Jenkins For an Evening With Leeroy Jenkins

  This past Friday, Oscar winning director and writer Barry Jenkins returned to his alma matter to speak with Florida State students about his time in Tallahassee, what post-Oscar life was like, and why Fat Sandwich reigns supreme. However, for one student, the experience was confusing and disappointing. “I really got my hopes up today, […]