Dining hall and John Arthur coffee aside, there are three places on BU’s campus that people go to for their regular caffeine needs: Jazzman’s, Starbucks, and Einstein’s. The Black Sheep has taken the time to assemble a team and evaluate the quality of the dark roast brews of all three locations. Our squad used a blind taste test, no sugar or cream, just black. Here’s the results of our experiment from worst to best:
Oh boy, we expected better from such a consistently crowded shop. We found that it’s super harsh on the tongue and all around unpleasant to drink. We couldn’t even swallow it at first; one of us was literally cringing like “I don’t want this in my body, man!” Afterwards, we had some technical difficulties with getting the taste out. Einstein’s, please just stick to making bagels. Giving a bigger serving than the other places doesn’t make the taste any better.
We had trouble with procuring the proper coffee for this because all of Jazzman’s beans are flavored, but we finally settled for the dark roast with chocolate. It has a harsh taste when it first hits the tongue, then it goes down smoothly, but has a harsh aftertaste again. We concluded that it’s a standard dark roast; not unbearably strong and not the best, but still pretty good. Our guess is that Jazzman’s is better at tea. That location in Bartle can’t be beat for all nighter preparation, though.
The Hinman location feels the most like a café thanks to the remodeling, and their coffee unsurprisingly matches the atmosphere well. Overall, it’s a lot mellower and less harsh on the senses than Jazzman’s. Despite the distinctly acidic aftertaste in the back of the throat, it seems to be the most drinkable out of the three. Our conclusion that Starbucks has the most drinkable dark roast sans condiments got us thinking that maybe Starbucks is good for people that don’t really like the taste of coffee.
After our formal blind test, we decided to pour all three together. It was pretty great on the first sip, but the awful aftertaste may lead to unpleased flailing. Then we combined the rest of the Jazzman’s and Starbucks coffee without the Einstein’s and it was so much better than including the Einstein’s, but still kinda bleh. The taste lingers, but it’s comparably pleasant, so that’s not too bad.
Moral of the Story: They all smell really good, but you should probably put something in the bean water to make it tastier. Also, if you forget everything else from this experiment, at least remember this:
Don’t drink Einstein’s black.
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